Page 35 of The Deer and the Dragon
“The guy has trouble keeping it in his pants. You don’t need him in your bedroom. As for your abilities, it doesn’t matter what you call them,” Fauna said. She recapped the pen and handed it to me. “None of the words matter. Everything you say has been made up by humans and filtered through time and culture. Use language however you want. Whatever helps you understand that you can see and feel and experience more than is limited to your realm.”
“Then what is it really called?”
Her nose twitched, patience evaporating. I experienced a moment of true fear in the ten seconds it took from her face to go from agitated to contemplative. Fauna leaned away from me as she rolled a question around on her tongue. Her eyes danced with curiosity for a long, long time. “Why did you choose to call the PrinceCaliban?”
I blinked. “What does this—”
“Just tell me.”
My lips parted. I probably looked like a salmon in the jaws of a bear as my mouth opened and closed uselessly against a series of nonanswers. Finally, I said, “It’s fromThe Tempest.The character was the son of a witch, and Caliban always seemed so magical…”
Her mouth quirked into a half-smile. “Shakespeare tracks for someone with a degree in literature. You did well.”
My bunched brows asked the question I couldn’t articulate.
“It’s not his name, of course. Fauna isn’t mine. Silas isn’t the angel’s real name. We don’t give out our real names, though if people are astute, they can sometimes guess the outer edges of our names. Like you, choosingCaliban. Important, magical…the character was half-monster, in human shape, right? It’s a good name. It shows your insight. In fact, I suspect it’s why you’ve lived by your many aliases. Because at the end of the day, it isn’t just for safety or anonymity. It’s because some part of you knows that names have power.”
“What does that…”
“Oh mygods,I’m trying to remember you have redeeming qualities.” She leaned forward as if to tell a secret. “What does that have to do with language? With fae and elf and demon and psychic and realm? Come on, Marlow-Merit-Maribelle. Put the pieces together.”
And so, I did.
She offered a satisfied nod as she saw it click behind my eyes. The realm words weren’t just old or lost or strange. They were too powerful, too important to be shared. Instead, we were left with the outer edges, as she’d called them. Whatever we did to communicate those thoughts would suffice.
Fauna led the way back to the living room as if it were her home and I were the guest. Still in the hall, she asked over her shoulder, “Can I ask what your grandmother was named?”
“Dagny.”
She released a heavy sigh. “That tracks.”
“Why?”
“New day.” She settled onto the couch. “It’s a pretty name for a someone who wants their end to look like a beginning. Aloisa wanted a fresh start. And? Did she get it? I mean, her name would have taken her to a new place, a fresh start, regardless. But, did Aloisa and her daughter live happily here?”
“No,” I said quietly.
My thoughts flitted briefly to the small, square home that smelled of sourdough bread and brown-orange shag carpet. Her green, plastic-covered couch and amicable smile had served as a constant in my youth. She was always available to babysit, as my grandmother had suffered from terrible agoraphobia, and had nowhere better to be. If Grandma Dagny could see through the veil and had no guidance for who or what she saw, perhaps leaving her house was a fear worse than death. Flavors of her insanity had trickled down my maternal line, passing from her, to my mother, to me. At least my grandma had been the friendly brand of nuts. My mother, on the other hand…
“Are any of us actually crazy?” I asked.
Her rich, musical laugh caught me off guard. “All of you, probably! I can’t imagine what it does to the human brain to have fae blood pumping through your veins! And to be…oh, what’s the word…come on, it’s a really good one that you humans recently started using. What is it when you know something is true but you’re told over and over that you’ve lost your mind?”
“Gaslit?”
“Gaslit!” Fauna echoed enthusiastically, clapping her hands together. “Such a good word. It’s overused, though. At this pace, it’ll be devoid of meaning within the year. But yes, Dagny’s wires are crossed, her chemicals are wrong, and I hope she received all the treatment to make her life easier. I even hope you…” She frowned, then said, “I’m sorry we don’t intervene more often. It’s better this way. The days of roaming freely in your realm did…not end well, for man or fae.” Rather abruptly, she turned to the large, black rectangle against the wall. “Wanna turn the TV back on?”
I looked at the ethereal being made of starlight and speckled like a baby deer and practically snorted. “The cartoons…I don’t get it. You really want to watch TV? Why?”
“Life is long! Come on, Miss Mythology. You know what fucked-up shit the gods used to do for entertainment? Now we get to watch producer godlings torture actors. If we’re lucky, they’re very, very sexy actors.”
“How could you care,” I asked, “when you look the way you do?”
Fauna made an arrogant face, biting her lip and leaning in across the table as she said, “Why, do you find me very, very sexy?”
I blinked. Wordlessly, I handed her the remote.
She giggled and clicked it on, flipping through the channels as she said, “We do, sometimes. A few of us get bored and appreciate the adulation of eight billion humans through film or TV. Maybe I could audition forFire andSwords. I look like a princess, don’t you think? My acting is quite good. Wait until you see me play the role of helpless forest maiden looking for a big, strong man.”
