Page 28 of Embers of You
“Are you seeing her?”
I chuckle. “I’m trying.”
“Really?” She turns, suddenly very interested in this conversation with me, and I shake my head.
“She’s not giving me the time of day, don’t get too excited.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“I just tried to ask her out and she turned me down, Ma,” I tell her lightly.
“Well maybe it doesn’t have to do with you. Do you know why she moved here?”
Shaking my head. “She’s pretty closed off.”
“If anyone can make someone feel comfortable it’s you.” She smiles, and I know she means it.
“You have to say that, you’re my mom.”
“I’d still say it even if I wasn’t. Now, you better be done pretending to work down here.”
I bark out a laugh; I wasn’t pretending, not really. I cleaned the stalls, fed the horses, organized the hay up in the hay loft, made grain bags to make feeding the horses easier.
“I am, but I’m going to work Jasper a bit.”
She smiles. “Good. I can’t wait to hear how you do at the rodeo.”
Her comment takes me aback. “You aren’t going to be there?”
“I’m going to try, but crowds can be a lot for me, you know that, honey.”
I worry that she’s not voicing the real concern which is the ones I have about the amount of walking it would be for her. Neither of us say it because I know she would just tell me to shush and not to worry about her.
“How about you stick around and watch now then?” I suggest, and she smiles widely, agreeing easily.
While Ma sits on a bench outside the arena, I lunge Jasper before getting on him and running some barrels. At one point, I think I even notice my dad standing and watching me, but once I’m done with the run, he isn’t there anymore. Ma claps like I just put on a five-star performance.
“Call Sutton back over so she can watch you. If this doesn’t make her fall in love with you, then you really do have your work cut out for you.”
I laugh. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”
“Well, it should be. I fell in love with your dad over something simple.”
I know their story. He worked at a candy store where she would stop by with her friends after school every day. He was in college while he worked there, and she was a senior in high school. She would get the same selection every time she went.
It didn’t take long for him to have her candy choices ready and waiting at the register for her.
Not unlike Sutton, she didn’t agree to go out with him right away either, but after she finally did the rest is history.
I can only hope if Sutton does ever agree to give me a chance, that our story can be half as beautiful as theirs.
Without the tragedy of the illness hanging over us all.
The reminder is a slap in the face to my reality of why I’m back in the first place. It doesn’t matter that she refuses to let us talk about how sick she is. It doesn’t eliminate the fact that it’s the truth.
“Run it again,” Ma calls out, pulling me from my negative thoughts. I get Jasper back into position to run the barrels again, because I’ll give Ma anything she wants while I still can.
Unfortunately, I know the one thing she wants more than anything else in the world is to see me fall in love, get married,and have kids. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to give her that in the time she has left.
