Page 161 of The Wrong Husband
“But you have to know, every moment I was in there, I cursed myself for what I was putting you through. This is what I wanted to avoid… This waiting game, when you wouldn’t know what had happened to me. The only thing that got me through my time there was?—"
I glance down at the now-empty wrist of my left hand.
“Looking for this?”
My head snaps up.
She’s holding up her wrist. And wrapped around it—like it never left me—is the sparkly hair tie. Her hair tie. That silly, glitter-dusted, now sand-encrusted scrap I clung to like it was oxygen.
My breath catches, and for a beat, I forget how to move.
“I picked it up at The Sp!cy Booktok,” I say through the emotions clogging my throat. “You stopped to peruse some books, and I found it after you left.”
“You've had it all this time?” Her voice comes out hoarse, disbelieving.
“And thank God, I did. I wore that thing for luck before I left on the mission. I treated it like it was sacred. Pressed my lips to it when I couldn’t sleep. All those days and nights, when everything around me was chaos—filth, noise, silence—itreminded me of you. Of that moment. Of your laugh, your scent, your goddamn stubbornness.”
I let out a breath that’s half-laugh, half-ache.
“It gave me hope that, come what may, I’d return to you.”
I reach for her, fingers brushing the tie on her wrist.
“That little band of sparkles got me through hell. Because it meant you were real. And that somewhere out there, maybe, you were thinking of me too.”
She twines her fingers through mine.
"It's inevitable that it happened this way." She sniffles. "I’m not upset with you. You helped free those kids. You saved so many lives. It made me realize how important your job is…and how good you are at it." She lowers her chin. "You shouldn’t give it up for me."
"I’m giving it up forme." I stroke my thumb over hers.
When she shivers, something inside me relaxes. She might be upset, but her body knows me and can’t stop its reaction to my touch.
"I want to spend time with you. I don’t want to be away. And I definitely don’t want to put you through this agony again."
She tries to smile, but her chin quivers. "I don’t want to be so selfish. I don’t want to take you away from the difference you can make."
"There are other ways to do it. Ways we could make a difference together."
She stills.
"Save the Kids is only one charity I’m involved with. And it, and many others, could benefit from having a medical doctor on the board. Someone who could better plan how to tackle medical emergencies around the world. As for me? My experience means I can make an even bigger difference by strategizing and deploying teams where needed at flashpoints around the world."
She doesn’t seem convinced. "But wouldn’t you miss the action. I saw your face when you got out of the rebels’ vehicle. You were tired but you had this look about you… Like that of a warrior returning triumphant from battle. You had this swagger, like you knew you could pull it off and you’d done it."
"And then they shot at me anyway," I say wryly.
"You almost got away. You knew the team would be there to help you on the last few feet."
"I did," I confess. "And you’re right. I will miss being in the action… But it’s something I’ll gladly give up so I can be with you."
I weave my fingers through hers.
"I want to spend every minute I can carve out with you. Talking with you. Seeing you smile. Working with you, side-by-side. Making you laugh. Making you cry out when I take you?—"
She flushes.
"Holding your hand. Getting to know your secrets and your dreams. Understanding what makes you who you are. Going to sleep every night in the same bed as you. Waking up and seeing your face every morning, and knowing how lucky I am that you're in my life. That I get to have you with me as we navigate life."
