Page 145 of The Wrong Husband
"But you had the courage to tell me—with your actions—about what was happening. Your leaving without telling me was a call for help. I went to the hospital first, and that’s where I found out what had happened to him."
"Oh." I glance away, revisited by images of walking into the trauma bay and finding him fighting for life, then the desperate fight to save him, and ultimately, the despair. The helplessness. The guilt.
More than anything, I remember being angry with myself for not having called off my relationship with Drew earlier. I’d been a coward, and I was paying the price. Then, I felt embarrassed about having these thoughts just after he died. It was scary and confusing.
I was so perturbed by Drew’s death, it became clear to everyone that I’d been involved with him.
I came clean about our relationship to the senior consultant at the hospital. And then, I learned about Drew’s affair. That shattered any chance of my being able to move on from the incident unscathed.
I blamed myself for him cheating. We’d drifted apart. We’d spent all our time at work. Of course, he was going to cheat on me. On and on, the thoughts circled in my head. It made me tired just thinking about it. No wonder, I’d been close to a nervous breakdown. No wonder, I had tried to punish myself for what had happened. No wonder, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to face the fact that Drew was dead.
"That must have come as a surprise to you," I finally offer.
"It was, but also, maybe, it wasn’t."
I angle my head.
"It felt like you wanted me to find out about Drew."
I absorb what he said, then nod slowly. "I did want you to find out about Drew. I guess, I was ready. I suppose, I rushed out, knowing you’d come after me. I didn’t go to the hospitalbecause I hoped you’d get there and find out about Drew; then, I wouldn’t have to tell you. Honestly, I don’t know. Seeing my Ma hit me like a punch to the chest.
“Talking to her made me realize, I could have confided in her about Drew. She would have understood. I wasted so many months drowning in guilt and embarrassment, convincing myself she’d judge me or be disappointed. If I’d just opened my mouth earlier—back when things first started going wrong with Drew—I could have spared myself so much anguish. I know it's not my fault, but maybe he'd still be alive.”
I glance sideways at my phone on the counter. There are no messages from Drew.
That knot of tension at the base of my neck fades.
He won’t interrupt me again.
He won’t make me feel guilty for moving on. A flush of happiness blooms in my chest. I really am free of him.
My heart soars. I can finally belong to Connor, body and soul, the way I never could be before this moment.
He rubs away the moisture on my cheek, “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about Arthur’s machinations and that your parents might be there.”
I push my forehead into his chest. "No more apologies, remember?”
50
Connor
"No apologies." I allow myself a smirk. "Not even for what I’m going to do to you."
She barely has time to register my words, when I scoop her up in my arms.
Surprise widens her eyes. Lust stains her cheeks. She looks at me in a way that tells me she knows what I want to do to her and that she welcomes it. Damn, if that doesn’t turn my groin to granite.
I head out of her kitchen down the hallway and into the bedroom. I walk over to the bed, then pause. "Are you okay if?—"
"Yes." She nods. "I want you to show me how much I belong to you. I want you to wipe away all the memories that hold me back. I want you to make me yours again."
A possessiveness squeezes my soul and turns my stomach into a writhing mass of need. My heart booms in my chest. My blood pounds in my ears.
"Say it." I set my jaw. "Tell me what I want to hear."
"I… I want you to fuck me on this bed."
Barely are the words out, when I drop her on the mattress. She bounces once, then shoves the hair that’s fallen into her eyes out of her face.
