Page 108 of The Wrong Husband
I was right. She has an ex. The thought of her with anyone else flashes hot and ugly in my head. Jealousy claws at my insides.
I force it aside, lock it down, and pin my focus on her. "What do you mean?"
She blinks the tears out of her eyes. Jealousy squeezes my guts. The fact that she was with someone else is to be expected. She’s gorgeous and bright. Of course, she’s been with men before me. Nevertheless, I want to wipe their memories from her head. I will make sure she forgets them once we’re married. She’s mine to claim. Mine to keep.Mine.
And I’ll make sure no other man will ever look at her in any other way than respectfully. No other man will look at her and not know she’s taken.
I manage to keep my caveman tendencies out of my facial expression, though maybe not completely, for she narrows her gaze on me. She must sense some of my thoughts, but I make sure to keep my expression clear of them.
"By the time I told him, he’d begun to think of our future together. He’d made plans. Wanted to introduce me to his family. He was very upset."
She bows her head.
"I should have broken up with him sooner. I shouldn’t have let things develop between us until he thought we had a chance to stay together."
"It’s not your fault. He should have sensed you were growing apart. If he’d been more focused, don’t you think he’d have noticed that things weren’t the way they should be?"
Her lips curve. "Thanks for being in my corner. But the truth is, both of us had equal responsibility to end the relationship before it got to the stage it did. I should have ended it earlier."
"So, when did you have this…conversation with him."
"The morning before I met you in the ER." She watches me closely.
"Ah, I see." I lean back. "So, it’s a recent breakup."
She nods. "You have to understand, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. In fact, I was sure I would not be in another relationship for a while. I had internally sworn off men, and then you walked into my ER." She wrings her hands. "I sensed the attraction with you right away, of course. I tried to resist. I didn’t want anything to do with you. I didn’t think it would come to anything, until?—"
"I told you James sent me to watch out for you because he was worried about you," I finish her sentence.
"With good reason, as it turns out." Her lips twist. "My oldest brother’s protective instincts, led him to suspect something wasn’t right. And as it turns out, him sending you was going to help me move on." She gestures to the space between us. "Maybe not quite in the way I expected—or he did, for that matter—but it’s certainly put things in perspective."
"Why didn’t you tell James about your ex?”
She tries to pull her hand from mine, but I hold onto it. After a few seconds she gives in and lets me weave my fingers through hers.
"Mainly, because I was so overwhelmed in the ER. Between managing my job and a relationship I wasn’t sure about, I didn’t have the time to speak to James or the rest of my family.”
She looks out the window and sighs. “That sounds like the excuse it is.” She rubs at her temple. "I think I, subconsciously, knew this relationship wasn’t going to last, so I didn’t introduce him to my family."
She swallows.
"I wanted to avoid questions from both my family and my work colleagues about a possible relationship, especially since we never even said anything to HR. I never mentioned Drew to my family or to my work colleagues. I’m getting married without inviting any of them." She lowers her chin to her chest. "I’m a terrible daughter, and sister. And a coward. I don’t want to explain myself to them, and I don’t want to face the fact that I didn’t tell them about having come close to marrying Drew, so?—"
"Hold on, you came close to marrying him?" Anger snaps its jaws into my chest. I feel like I’ve been hit by a windmill.
"Not me. Buthethought we would get married." She hunches her shoulders. “I misjudged our relationship. When we broke up, he didn’t take it well." Her breath hitches. "It was very difficult."
"I’m sorry." I swallow down the animalistic instinct to grab her and hold her close, insisting that she never take any other man’s name on her lips. This is part of her past. I can’t take that away from her. And she’s confiding in me; that’s good. That’s healthy.
I need to keep my possessiveness in check. The best way to help her is to let her speak and get this off her chest. And I do want to know about her past. As much as it might cause me to resent this man who spent any part of her life with her, it’s part of her story. Her experience. What made her the woman she is today. The kind of woman I respect and have developed feelings for.
I must give her the space she needs to share this part of herself with me, as well. "I truly am. The end of any relationship is like death of an entire future you built in your head. A kind of mourning."
She jerks her chin my direction. "A cascade of physiological responses—elevated cortisol, disrupted REM cycles, appetite suppression."
"Yeah, that’s grief." I’m glad I’m holding her hand in mine. Glad I can support her through the emotions she’s going through.
A tear slides down her cheek. I instantly brush it aside. My heart squeezes. It feels like someone stuck a burning knife in my chest.
