Page 110 of Hemlock & Silver
Javier’s eyes never left my face. “Do it,” he said.
That was what I needed to hear. I might have stood and dithered all night otherwise. Eloise went around lighting more lamps, and I went to my bag and pulled out the vial of chime-adder venom.
My hands knew what they were doing. I let them do it. The rest of me prayed as intensely as I had ever prayed in my life.Blessed Saint Adder, Coiled One, let me save this one life. This girl is dying because she killed a great evil. Please.
Down at the root, it was the same prayer I prayed over all my patients, addicts and princesses alike.Please let this work.
“What is that?” Rinald asked.
“Distilled chime-adder venom,” I said. “It strengthens the heart. Hold her head for me.”
Snow was so small that it was hard to get the tube into her nose at all. Rinald helped and didn’t argue. I suppose he’d dosed horses the same way. I took a deep breath, put my mouth over the end, and blew.
Was there a reaction? The faintest twitch? Was I seeing things just because I wanted to see them?
“Now what?” Rinald asked.
“Now we wait,” I said. My voice shook a little, and Javier gripped my shoulder and I wanted to lean into him and cry because this was it, the very last throw of the dice, and I was staking everything on something I’d concocted, something that no other physician had ever prescribed. Harkelion had never written a word about it. If it failed—and it almost always failed—how would I explain it to the king?
Javier tugged gently on my shoulder and I turned and he put his arms around me. It nearly undid me. I pressed my face against the hollow of his throat and thought,Finally, a hug that counts.I almost laughed at that, but I was on the fine edge of hysteria, and I knew if I started to laugh, I wouldn’t stop.
I stood in the circle of Javier’s arms for what felt like a long time. His chest was warm and solid and hard-muscled. As long as neither of us moved, maybe time would stop passing and Snow wouldn’t die and I wouldn’t have killed her.
Rinald cleared his throat, and Javier released me. Reluctantly, I thought, or maybe that was only the hope talking. The stupid, treacherous hope. It’s the hope that wrecks you.
“Is she…?” I asked, because Grayling had been right about almost everything.
Rinald shook his head. “Not yet. In fact, listen.”
I laid my head down on Snow’s chest.
Silence, and then… a beat. And another one, with less time between them. Still not very strong, but closer together.
I sat up. Was that the faintest flush on Snow’s cheeks?
It might not mean anything. It could be the last rally before she dies. Don’t hope. Don’t hope.
Eloise reached out and took my hand. Her fingers were warm. Mine were cold and sweaty, I’m sure. Before I could apologize, she had a warm towel and was wiping my fingers clean, as calmly as if I were an end table that something had spilled on.
“Thank you,” I said hoarsely. “You’d be a good nurse.”
“I’d hate it,” she said.
“Not as much as I hate being a healer right now.”
Rinald gave a choking laugh at that. Eloise smiled, and her hair ate the towel.
Rinald and I took turns listening to Snow’s heartbeat. Poison doctor and horse leech. I would not have traded him for all the physicians in Four Saints.
I don’t know how long it took—not that long, I think, even if it felt like hours. Rinald straightened and nodded to me. The sound under my ear was stronger, faster, almost normal. I bit my lip.Don’t hope. Don’t hope.
“I think it’s working,” Rinald said.
“Shit. I was trying not to hope.”
“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, and rubbed his knuckles over Snow’s sternum. Javier winced. It’s extremely painful. It also works. I reached out and clutched Javier’s hand.
Snow’s eyelids fluttered and she moaned.
