Page 112 of Hemlock & Silver
“I’m exhausted,” I said. “And I’m going to fall asleep standing up in a minute. But I wouldn’t mind falling asleep in the same bed as you.”
I expected a grunt, but instead I got a smile. A surprisingly shy smile for a man carrying a sword.
“Yeah,” he said. “I wouldn’t mind that either.”
CHAPTER 30
I woke up with something warm and alive against my back, and said muzzily, “Grayling? Izzat you…?”
“No,” Javier said, “but I could try to get him if you like.”
Shock fired my muscles, and I sat up, suddenly wide awake. “Oh my god. Javier? You’re here?”
He was stretched out full length next to me. I’d been on my side, and he’d had one arm flung over my waist and the other stretched out under the pillow. The lazy smile on his face was slowly being replaced by a worried frown.
“Um,” he said. “I can leave if you’d like.”
“No!” I practically yelled it.
He blinked at me a few times, but then the smile came back and grew wider.
“Sorry,” I said. “I was just startled. I didn’t expect… uh…” I looked down at myself. I was wearing a perfectly respectable nightgown. Javier was wearing breeches.Justbreeches.
“There hasn’t been anyuh,” he said.
I swallowed a few times and reminded myself that I was done with trying to be tactful. Then I met his eyes squarely and said, “Would you like there to be?”
For the record, it is not easy to make love to a man with badly bruised ribs.
Afterward, we lay around with the hazy smiles of people who had justuhhh-ed. “I would like to try that again,” I said, “whenI’m not afraid that you’ll puncture a lung if you get too enthusiastic.”
“This seems like an excellent plan.” He idly stroked his fingertips over my wrist, right where the skin was more sensitive, and I shivered. He made a noise, a furry sort of chuckle deep in his chest, and I decided that I wanted to hear that noise again, preferably as soon as possible.
We lounged for a bit, while the sun streamed in through the glass doors. “I should close the curtains before it gets hot,” I said.
“Good idea.”
Neither of us moved. I gazed at the fabric hanging over the bed. “I’d like to say something, but I’m afraid I’ll ruin this.”
He rolled to face me, that familiar line forming between his eyes. “That sounds serious.”
“I don’t want to ruin this.”
“Neither do I.”
“If what I say is stupid, will you just forget I said anything?”
He considered. “I suppose it depends on what it is. If it’s ‘I wish you were Aaron,’ I’m afraid I’m not going to get over—”
The pillow took him in the face, and he fell back, laughing. I found an undamaged length of rib cage and poked him in it. “Obviously it’s not that.”
He grunted. “I think you’re just going to have to say it.”
I stared at the ceiling and summoned my courage. I didn’t look at him. I didn’t think I could get through this if I looked at him. “When I thought we were going to die, in the mirror, I wanted to tell you that I was in love with you, but then I thought that it would make everything awkward.”
Javier grunted again. The silence drew out until I thought I was going to keel over, and then he said, “It wouldn’t have.”
“What?”
