Page 118 of Once a Villain
“I think I was,” Aaron said, almost to himself. “I saw the way I looked at you, Joan—in that scene in the true timeline. I don’t look at people like that.” His eyes widened as if he’d just realized something else. He flicked a look at Nick.
Joan stared at him. Aaron hadn’t said it, but she could guess at his thoughts.You would have made sense together, like you did in every timeline, he’d said last night, and his eyes had gone distant as if he’d been watching Joan and Nick from afar. And now he suspected that he’d had feelings for JoanandNick in the original timeline. He believed that they’d been unrequited.
He always thought that. He’d thought he and Nick must have been together in this timeline because Joan was dead. That he and Joan had gotten together because Nick was dead.
Joan swallowed. She was beginning to suspect that there was something more to the story for Aaron. She remembered his pained disbelief when she’d told him she loved him. The way he’d dismissed the love note from Nick’s counterpart. And then she thought of how his father had publicly mocked him every time Joan had seen them together. Of his stark little room in the servants’ quarters, far away from the rest of the family.
Was there something in Aaron that made him feel inherentlyless than? Joan’s chest hurt at the thought. Didn’t he know that he could have had anyone he wanted?Anyone but you, she imagined him saying now to her. Buthewas the one who’d pushed her away at the pub. She’d told him she’d chosen him, and he’d told her:I won’t hold you to it.We should pretend that last night didn’t happen. She’d begged him—I needyou! Aaron,please!—and he’dtold her that it would be Nick again in the next timeline. That she and Aaron would forget each other.
Nick was searching Aaron’s face too now, as if he’d heard some of the same unsaid words that Joan had.
“We’re all tangled up together... ,” Joan said softly.
Aaron looked away. “You’retangled up together. And I’m... I don’t know... The timeline makes sure you find each other in every iteration. You and Nick belong together.”
Jamie had once described the way that the timeline worked.The Lius believe that our timeline still tries to return to its true shape—still yearns for the shape of the true timeline. We believe that if people belonged together in the true timeline, then our timeline tries to repair itself by bringing them together. Over and over and over. Until the rift is healed.
Eleanor had used that mechanism in her revenge on Joan and Nick. She’d made Nick into a monster slayer, knowing that the timeline would push him toward Joan again, but that instead of loving her, he’d try to kill her. It hadn’t quite worked. They’d still fallen in love.
Outside, the river seemed to stretch forever—to the horizon and beyond. Joan bit her lip, remembering the night they’d all met. She and Nick had been at Holland House when the Olivers had arrived, appearing from thin air as if they’d stepped from invisible doors. It was the first time Joan had ever seen anyone time-travel. It had seemed a strange coincidence at the time that the Olivers had appeared on the very night that Joan had learned she was a monster. But now Joan wondered if something more had been going on.
Because in the next timeline, Aaron had found Joan and Nick again. He’d forgotten them, but he’d found them. Even in the timeline where Joan had been dead, Aaron and Nick had come together.
The timeline makes sure you find each other in every iteration.
“Have you ever noticed,” Joan said, “that weallkeep finding each other? In every timeline since the first one, we’ve ended up in the same place.”
Aaron’s eyes widened at that, and Nick’s too. Why hadn’t any of them realized that until now?
“It’s more than that,” Nick said slowly. “You’ve fallen for Aaron in multiple timelines now.”
Joan felt her mouth fall open. She hadn’t put that together. “Yes,” she said. And Aaron was really staring now, as if he didn’t think that could possibly be true.
“You’re still in love with him now,” Nick said. It was a flat statement. He knew it.
“Yes,” Joan said, and she heard Aaron’s breath hitch.
“You’re still in love withme,” Nick said to Joan.
“Yes,” Joan said again. She felt Aaron react beside her again, and she clenched her hands into fists.
“And we’re both in love withher,” Nick said to Aaron.
Joan took a shaky breath. She hadn’t been sure that was still true. But Nick had said he loved her earlier. And now Aaron nodded. He still loved her too.
Joan was hit with an emotion she couldn’t even define. It wasn’t relief, exactly. But she’d been sure that she was going to lose them both today. That she’d already lost them. And maybeshe had—everything felt so tangled between them—but there was something warmer in the room; something less sad than there’d been even a moment ago.
Outside, the sun was rising in the sky. From this angle, the river seemed almost blue. It felt like a whole day had passed since they’d found Nick alive again, but it was still morning.
Nick’s words were still echoing between them, loud in the silence. And in that echo, a possibility dawned on Joan.
She wasn’t the only one who’d had the thought. Nick’s eyes darkened as she looked at him, and Aaron swallowed visibly, his throat moving as she turned tohim. As they looked at each other, Joan felt a flutter of warmth run through her and her heartbeat quickened. The air between them all felt charged suddenly with something that hadn’t been there before. Something like the first glimpse of a new day.
“Knock knock!” someone said outside the door, and Joan jumped. Beside her, Aaron swore under his breath.
Ruth pushed the door open, Jamie and Tom following her in. Their gazes flew to Nick, where he sat on the floor, alive and breathing. “So... ,” Ruth said. “What did we miss?”
Aaron cleared his throat. His cheeks were flushed. And when hadthathappened? “Uh...” He ran a hand through his hair. The gesture ruffled it, making an uncharacteristic mess. He looked at Nick, a little wide-eyed, silently asking for help.
