Page 136 of The Cruel Dawn
The abbey shakes. It isn’t supposed to.
Elyn and I exchange a brief glance. We rush over to the window again.
Stewards now take to the sky. One moment, they stand in the field of blue flowers; the next, they’re gone in a burst of light. The whole abbey shimmies. It’s obvious they’re trying to get the fuck out of Vallendorright now.
A chill runs down my spine as I realize that this isn’t a drill. This isn’t a false alarm.
They’re evacuating.
The corpse-gray sky darkens as the air grows heavier with evacuees. We’ve crossed the line of no return.
“We should go,” Elyn says, eyes on the sky.
“Where are they going?” I ask, watching her and wondering what she knows that she isn’t sharing. “If they’re leaving Vallendor, why aren’t they using—?” I point down to the Raqiel guards who remain standing at the Glass of Infinite Realms.
“Because they aren’t going to another realm—”
I shake my head. “They can’t just hide in the Between for too long. They wouldn’t survive. Theymustbe going to some other—”
“Kai, it doesn’t matter right now—”
“It matters tome,” I shout over her. “It doesn’t matter toyoubecause you haven’t been sentenced to die here. You can leave Vallendor anytime you want.”
She backs away from me. “I don’t know what’s come over you. Maybe you’re just exhausted and hungry, but whatever it is, you need to snap out of it right now. There’s too much at stake. I’m not your enemy, Kai.”
“That’s what they all say.” I hurl my bundle of food out the window.
Elyn gapes at me. “Kai…”
“I’ve snapped out of it,” I say, “and now I see that I’m alone here, that everyone I meet wants what I have, that they think they need it for their own survival. I’ll have to save Vallendor on my own.”
…
Only four moths flutter around me, and their delicate wings brush against my skin as though they’re saying “goodbye.” I land on the ground, on the highest bluffs at the Rim of the Shadows. I want to take off this armor—it’s too hot, too heavy. I swallow, but my mouth is as dry as the desert. I blink, but no tears wet my eyes. Yet the world still blurs.
The thin air feels charged with an unnatural energy. The view below should be breathtaking, but the desert landscape sprawled out before me remains barren. The earth has withered, and the once-vibrant wild grasses crumble into dust with each gust of wind. The river that had briefly sprung to life is choked again with stagnant water.
The sky above me churns with dull golds and muted violets, a bruised sky to match the bruises that mottle my skin from my neck and back down to my smallest toe. Lumis, the daystar, the warmest of us all, casts a cold, distant light, and his rays are dim as an ember in a dying hearth. And as I sit here, on the brink of all things, the weight of Vallendor’s death presses down on me.
The unnaturally cold winds carry the scent of death across the hills and mountains that tower over Gasho. The pine, walnut, and acacia trees have twisted into skeletons, their branches gnarled and barren.
I close my eyes, trying to wipe these images—evidence of a dying realm, an acute reminder of my failure—from my mind. I’ve lost this fight. What can I do other than sit here and wait for the end to come?
I needed an army to fight Danar Rrivae, and now I find myself alone in this battle.
The Renrians are required to fight for me—and Separi and her kin can’t say no to the Lady of the Verdant Realm. But I won’t ask.
Elyn will use the Raqiel against me just as she did in previous battles. She told me seasons ago that I’d never leave Vallendor if I failed to yield and obey her. I didn’t believe her threat, and now I’m dying in this land of chaos. Who’s the fool? Me, for not believing her.
And then there’s Zephar…
I needed his blades and the Diminished—though in their new state, they are no longer mine.
Yes, I’ve lost this fight.
A growl sends me scrambling to my feet. I reach for my new blade.
A windwolf pounces on me from behind.
