Page 48 of The Cruel Dawn
My sense of space and my need for boundaries is…gone. I can’t walk without nearly vomiting.
“Kai—”
“Yeah, yeah.” I slide up the wall to stand, eyes closed. After pushing out a few breaths, I throw myself into the middle of the corridor and start on my wobbly way.
Elyn looks at me over her shoulder—the corner of her lip lifts just a bit. She wants to laugh. But she doesn’t, and in silence, she leads me through one tall iron door after another. There are no longer torches or lanterns through these passageways. Her gold eyes and dove amulet are lighting the way.
No light glows from my own eyes or from my moth pendant, and so I must rely on her. What powers did my father manage to restore if I still lack the ability to find my own way? I guess I’m more broken than I thought.
“Did you get the answers you needed from Lord Megidrail?” the Adjudicator asks, reading my mind.
I give Elyn a one-shouldered shrug and scan the hallway for pots or vases just in case my stomach surrenders. “I didn’t have a chance to ask him about our family or why he abandoned us. He didn’t ask about my mother’s end, either.”
Elyn snorts. “Your mother’send?Youcaused your mother’s end.Youdestroyed Ithlon. What questions did he need answered that weren’t answered during the trial?”
My cheeks flush. “I didn’t mean that. I don’t know what I was thinking. Everything was happening so quickly.” I pause, then add, “I did want to ask about the generals who lied to me about Mother being off-realm. Where are they now? You must know.”
“Why must you know their locations?” Elyn asks. “Are you planning to kill them one day?”
I don’t answer.
Elyn doesn’t look back at me.
I tug my ear and clear my throat. “I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but I didn’t know that she was still on Ithlon when I launched its destruction. And I don’t care if you believe me or not.”
“If you’d known she was still in Gundabar Province, would you have called it off?” she asks. Even with her back to me, I know Elyn’s scowling. Because to the Adjudicator, it doesn’t matter that I’d been lied to. My destruction still hadn’t been blessed by the Council of High Orders.
“Of course I would’ve,” I snap. “Do you think I’m so maniacal that I’d kill mymother?”
Elyn doesn’t respond to me but nods at the sentinels we pass.
“I’m trying to be better,” I say, stumbling on a thicker patch of air.
She hears my scuffling boots and peeks back at me. “Are you gonna make it there?”
No.
“Of course.” I flap my hand at her. “Keep going. We have only nine dawns.”
“And you’re gonna use six of them trying to walk down to the dungeons.”
I chuckle. I have to stop and rest my hands on my knees again. “Do you know the significance of nine dawns and the nightstar’s cycle?”
Elyn shakes her head—how does she do that without stumbling or clutching her stomach? “Something about the metals and gems and Selenova’s mass and…” She takes a deep breath and pushes it out. “Doesn’t matter. All I know is this: we don’t have much time. For Agon to even agree to let us come down here and interrogate the Weapon tells me that this is serious. We can’t stay long, understand?” She looks back at me again to confirm that I understood.
“No problem.” I give her a wobbly thumbs-up from my place against another wall.
And really: this meeting shouldn’t take long.
Waving my two middle fingers in the Weapon’s face: that will take ten seconds.
Telling him to kiss my ass: five seconds.
Bathing in the toasty satisfaction of turning on my heel and abandoning him in this dungeon: timeless but only seven seconds.
“I know you’re angry that he betrayed you,” Elyn says, walking backward now, “but it’s up to you to not let that betrayal ruin the rest of your life.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I throw myself to the middle of the corridor, overshooting and blundering into the wall across from me.
