Page 140 of The Cruel Dawn
What if I said yes to him this time?
The realm would still burn all around us, but at least I wouldn’t be alone…
But that’s an illusion. I whisper, “I can’t.”
He backs away from me.
My neck stings from the blade and his poisoned lips, because of who he is. This new pain spreads across my chest and settles on top of the old hurts. The last plates of my pewter armor crumble into the sand; I’m back in just my bandeau and breeches as my knight continues to kill me softly. “You’re wrong in this, Jadon,” I say, sinking onto my side. “The love you demand from me isn’t love. I’m not one of your hostages in that jail. But know this: I will hunt you down the ends of Vallendor, even in my march toward death, because I loved them.”
Lively. Veril. Prince Idus. Even Gileon Wake.
I will wander Anathema in pursuit of those who did Vallendor wrong. Once I find them all and punish them for their sins, I will speak the word and pray that my dedication to Vallendor will be counted toward whatever reward or punishment awaits me beyond the gates of Anathema.
Jadon steps away from me but grips the dagger tighter. “I don’t want to die. How is that wrong? I want to be with you. How isthatwrong?”
“Neither desire is wrong,” I say, whispering now as the world starts to gray. “But you can’t always get what you want.”
“I have no choice here,” he growls. “Either I do as you say, or I do as my father says. Either path leads to my death. Is that my fate? It doesn’t matter, because this time, I’m choosing me.”
“You are your own savior now?” I ask, my eyes closing.
“Yes.”
Now, I stare at the man who no longer resembles the blacksmith I loved or the prince who tended to me so gently in that cave. The warmth I once found in his gaze has faded, replaced by a hollow, dangerous intensity that I no longer recognize. His anger and fear transform his smile into a sneer—sharp, cruel, and newly bitter. His brows furrow with frustration and pain. The muscles in his jaw tighten. He holds himself as a man straining between two realities, both destroying him from the inside out. Another rotting apple.
He stands rigid, a sour-smelling sickness rolling from him in waves. His vibrant eyes dim. The person I once knew is slipping away.
Where is the man who was my friend just a moment ago? The one who’d just promised to organize a motley army of Vallendor’s mortals to fight for me? Where willhego in his death, beyond those gates?
“Is this goodbye, then?” Jadon asks, his face softer for just this moment.
I whisper, “This is goodbye.”
“Then…” He scoops me into his arms, then presses his nose against mine. “Hear the humble plea of Thy devoted servant seeking the grace of your Divine touch.You are the realm to me, Kaivara Megidrail, gentle Lady of the Verdant Realm.” And he kisses me.
I accept his prayer and his kiss, and he tastes of blackberries, rum, honey and…metal and blood and death.
He takes my breath away.
I push him away, and he lets me fall into the dust.
My throat grows tight. He stoops beside me.“Look upon me with your Divine favor, quickening my sword and supplanting my weaknesses with your strength.”He’s still praying even as he reaches for my amulet.
The amulet’s thorax glows, and its light dances across his hard face.
I lift my hand to stop him. My skin is a dying mess of purples and yellows.
Jadon yanks the pendant, and the chain breaks around my neck.
Will he take my blade? Does he know he will die if he does, and the linionium in his markings will find their next source?
Is Danar Rrivae close by? Is he watching and waiting?
It doesn’t matter anymore.
Ice crackles across my shoulders—my armor is gone.
I blink, and the world tilts until the sky is beneath me.
