Page 72 of The Last One
“You didn’t say anything,” he says.
“You didn’t, either.”
He shakes his head, then says, “This isn’t the way it was supposed to go.”
“For you.” I place one of the honeycakes in the center of the log. “I don’t even know what your ‘this’ is, but it can be applied to anything that’s happened since I landed here.” My mind swims as I nibble my snack. “Talk about an unforgettable experience.”
“Yep.” Jadon reaches between us for his cake. “You’ll never forget how I made you feel warm and fuzzy inside.”
“Really?” I ask, already warm and fuzzy inside.
“I see it on your face.” His grin is playful and cocky. “You can’twaitto have memories of me.”
“I’ve been exposed,” I say, the back of my hand pressed against my forehead. “And every time I have a memory of you, I’m gonna write a sonnet, and one of those sonnets will be a recollection of that time we sat together on a log in the middle of wherever we are. People will cry at the tender urgency of my poetry.”
He chuckles, then sighs. “Oh, Kai.”
I blush, then say, “Oh, Jadon.” I take a nibble of honeycake, letting the sweetness roll over my tongue before sneaking another glance at Jadon. What would it be like to kiss this man? Would his kisses be slow and deliberate? Urgent and wonderfully chaotic? Does he evenlikekissing? The times I’ve caught him studying my lips make me think… Yes, he does.
We pick away at pieces of cake, but mine no longer tastes as sweet—I want a new favorite thing.
A star shoots across the sky, a lavender snake across the unknown. Jadon closes his eyes. I close mine.
“What are you wishing?” His voice is deep and rich.
I keep my eyes closed, tipsy from his attention. “I’m wishing that my mind would hurry up and work again so that I can start reconciling the old version of me with the version that gets the warm fuzzies and thinks of writing long poems about someone sitting a reach away from me.
“And I wish that I could remember if I’ve dreamed of having nights like this with him.” I open my eyes and stare straight ahead.
I want to ask about his wish, but then again, maybe I don’t. I just hope it involves me.
Jadon pokes his tongue at his cheek. “What if the old you hated nights like this with someone like me?” His gaze flits to the sky, then back to me, back to my lips. “What if you were already in love before waking up in Maford? What if someone’s waiting for you?”
“What if,” I counter, “no one loves me back at home and no one’s waiting?” My eyes sting with tears. Fuck.
“What is your heart telling you?” he asks.
My throat tightens, and I whisper, “It’s telling me, ‘No, there’s no one waiting for me.’”
His eyebrows crumple. “That’s sad, Kai. Why not?”
I shrug, but that’s a lie.She’ll turn on you just like she’s turned on her family.I blink rapidly, my heart twisting. “Wouldn’t a heart remember that kind of love? Wouldn’t it be like walking? Wouldn’t it be unforgettable?”
He says nothing and returns his gaze to the sky. “This is fucked up.”
“You told me something,” I say, leveling my head, pushing away sorrow. “I don’t remember if it was today or yesterday, but you said, ‘Not knowing your past may be better than having an awful one.’” I shift to face him. “That was a very wise thought.”
“I’m a very wise man,” he says, his smile crooked. That smile pins me to this log like a moth in a cherished collection of one.
I eat pieces of honeycake to tamp down my urge to close the distance between us. “I know whyI’msad right now, but why are you? And I’m not talking about Maford burning down. Your past—what happened for you to be so…melancholy?”
Jadon startles, and his spine straightens. “I’m not…” He bites the inside of his cheek, then nods, accepting the word. “Been thinking about my family, about my father. He resented me. Felt that I was…thrustupon him. That kind of rejection would make anyone melancholy, right? He eventually found me useful, but…”
He peers at the sky, but I can tell that he doesn’t really see it. “My tutor, General Stery, made me feel worthy of love. He’s the one who taught me to fight, and after fighting beside him in a few skirmishes, I got good at it.”
I scoff, admiration now overtaking desire. “I’ve seen you fight, Jadon. You’re more thangoodat it.”
He tries to smile. “General Stery convinced me that I’d make a great knight and a wise and brilliant tactician. I’d command armies one day. Take his place and even be renowned.”
