Page 33 of The Last One
I’m trying hard not to cry out of confusion, relief, and hope. “What is your name?” I ask, voice quavering.
“Search your thoughts, Kai,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “But I don’t—”
“Shh,” she whispers.
I close my eyes, and my nose fills with the scents of cherry blossoms and woodsmoke. I meet her gaze. “Sybel.” I startle at this realization. Where did this memory come from? Was it her touch alone? Did it bring to the surface something I knew within my heart? The palms of my hands are clammy, but my mind feels brighter, faster. How is it possible that I’m just standing here when I feel like I’m doing more? I’m remembering.
“Lift your head, child,” Sybel says, her fingers raising my chin. “Your journey is not over. No, it’s only begun.”
“But how did it begin?” I ask, my whisper burning with urgency. “How did I reach that forest where I opened my eyes? Where was I before that? Did I fall from the sky? Am I from the nomads at Devour?”
Silver hands pushing me forward—and the sky…
Sybel shakes her head. “That ‘how’ doesn’t matter right now. The questions you should be asking are, ‘Where do I go next? Who must I become to get there?’” She holds out a hand, and now the face she wears is the one of flared nostrils. “And most importantly: ‘How will I make amends for my failures?’”
I take a step back as heat rises behind my eyelids. “Failures?Surely, you don’t mean me knocking over Freyney’s cart—”
“Shh,” she says again and claps once, hard, and the sound bounces around the woods. “Listen, for once in your life—”
My stomach lurches at her abrupt change of tone. “How do you know that I don’t listen?”
She flashes a cold smile. “Because you aren’t listening at this very moment.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to contain my rising anger and confusion.
“If you continue to reverse everything that I’ve done for this place,” Sybel says, “that I’ve done for you—”
“Done for me?”I take another step back, shaking my head.
“Hey, Kai,” Jadon calls.
I startle, whirling toward him.
Still wearing his long leather smock, Jadon strides in my direction with a crooked grin. “I need woodtoday. You take the scenic route?”
I look back, but Sybel has disappeared.
9
Jadon grows serious when he sees my expression. “Who were you talking to?” His eyes skip around the tree line.
“The old woman,” I say, looking back to the forest, heart still racing.
“Which old woman? Maford’s full of old women.” His words sound light, but his lips become white slashes. “Did she threaten you? Did she hurt you?”
“No. Just…” I gape at him, stumped, then take a quick peek at the forest again.
Where did she go? And why did she snap at me? She smiled at me yesterday and called me “child” and touched my ears so that I could hear the thoughts of others. Peeved—that was her mood now. Andif you continue to reverse everything that I’ve done? What does that even mean? Andfailures? What have I failed at? I’ve been in Maford for a day now, and I’ve already earned more than half of the twelve geld I need, and I haven’t misbehaved. Well, strangling Olivia wasn’t thebestbehavior, but I had reasons. Is that what she’s talking about? Unless…
Ice spreads across my stomach. What does Sybel know about me that I’ve forgotten? Is Jamart wrong? Is kindnessnotin my nature? Am I more a strangler than a comforter? Have I misused my hands before? Has Sybel witnessed me do bad things and is exhausted by my behavior and that’s why she said I don’t listen and I need to make amends?
I pinch the bridge of my nose to contain the frustrated tears building behind my eyes.Everything that I’ve done for you.Why did she scold me when she knows I’m lost? Who must I become to getwhere? Who the fuck am Inow?
“Well, if anyone bothers you,” Jadon says, tightening the bandage around his hand with his teeth, “just tell me. I’ll handle them.”
“I can handle myself, thank you,” I say, prickling.
