Page 74 of Game Changer
My heart races, and then a surge of regret washes through me that Imissedit. It’s something he worked so hard to do, and it probably devastated him that I wasn’t there to witness it.
But it’s hard to shake the self-loathing when I heard a grown man ranting about how horrible I am. It would make anyone feel insecure, at least a little bit. Especially when that man helped create the woman I’m head over heels for. He has a shit ton of influence with her. Both of her parents do, so this silence between us speaks volumes. I don’t want to knock on her door only for her to tell me she’s siding with them, and I don’t want to make up only for her to go back on her word and change her mind. She may think she doesn’t need her parents, but she does. They’re everything to her. I refuse to be the reason a rift forms between them.
If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing when it comes to her. Tous. Which is probably why I haven’t moved from this bed. I know that, regardless of what her response is, our happily ever after will more than likely come to an end.
“Look.” Mark pins me with an expression that makes me swallow thickly. “Continue to sulk if you want, but your actions affect more than just you. I know you were reluctant about being a coach to these kids, but it’s already happened, and their last game before winter break is this weekend. It’d be a shame for you to give up on them now.”
I open my mouth, but he holds a hand up to stop me.
“The way I see it? You’re left with two options. You can be the guy Maya’s father is claiming you are, or you can continue to create a new image of yourself that you’re proud of. The choice is yours.”
With that, he turns to the door, but not before glancing over his shoulder to say, “Make sure he gets in the damn shower, Leo.”
I roll my eyes when Leo sends him a salute. “Aye, aye, Captain.” The door shuts, leaving us alone, and just when I’m expecting Leo to provide me with the humor deflection I’m seeking, he comes out of left field and does something even more annoying.
He’smature.
“I know you probably want to return to sulking in that little pity cocoon of yours, but we’re just looking out for you, man. It’s tough seeing you like this. Even Cameron texted to ask—”
“Cameron?”How the fuck—oh, right. I forgot the gossip train runs between himandMaddie now that they’re together. Maya must have confided in Maddie, who in turn relayed it to Cameron. I didn’t know whether or not Maya wanted them to know, so I kept my mouth shut and hid away in my room rather than talk to the one person who has the ability to get me out of this downward spiral I’ve found myself in. But talking to Cameron would pull out all the insecurities I’ve tried to hide for so long, and opening up that can of worms doesn’t sound inviting.
There’s enough on my plate at the moment.
“Tell him I’m fine,” I grumble.
“Really? Because you still smell like a piece of fish that’s been basking in the garbage all day. Could have fooled me.”
“For fuck’s sake.” Rising from the bed, I snatch my toiletry bag off the hook next to the closet. “I’m going to shower.There. Happy?”
He snaps a photo with a wide grin. “Ecstatic, actually. The group chat will bethrilledyou’re coming out of hibernation.”
“Group chat?Since when do we have a group chat?”
When a notificationpings on my phone, he throws his head back and laughs. “Since now. Enjoy your shower.”
Thirty- nine
Maya
With a thundering heart and trembling hands, I knock softly on Ethan’s door.
It took a lot of hyping myself up to do this, but I’ve given him more than enough space. Eight days felt like an eternity when I was so used to being with him. Morning yoga. Late-night study sessions. WatchingThe Bachelorwith the girls because, despite what he claimed, he wasveryinvested in it.
My chest clenches at the memories when he opens the door and stills on the other side. His hair is mussed and sticking up at the ends, and judging by the bags beneath his eyes, I’d guess he’s had trouble sleeping like me. I’ve never been the type to hole up in my room all day, but this fight between us has revealed a different side of me. I couldn’t gather the energy to put makeup on or do my hair when there were more important things at stake, like the future of my relationship with the one guy who has ever mattered to me.
“Hi.” It comes out as a choked whisper, but I lack the confidence to be my bubbly self. I’ve messed up twice now with Ethan, so I have no idea how this conversation will go. What I do know? I can’t take another second without hearing his thoughts. “Can I come inside?”
I hold my breath while he considers, finally nodding and stepping to the side for me to pass. My shoulder brushes his chest, and his body freezes for a heartbeat before he clears his throat and steps away from me.
Not a good sign.
Silence follows me as I take a seat on his bed. I twist my hands in my lap as I try to figure out where to start, but he beats me to it.
“You had every opportunity to tell me that night at the hotel, Maya. I asked you why you ghosted me, and you lied to my face. Whether it was to protect my feelings or not doesn’t matter. I deserved to know the truth. I deserved better than that.”
I nod, internally cursing when my vision blurs.
“That being said, I can sympathize with how hard it must be for you. It fucking sucks, to put it plainly, and I never—” He swipes his hands over his face. “Fuck. I never knew the truth behind the saying ‘If you love something, let it go’ until now, but I can’t be the reason for a rift between you and your parents. They mean everything to you, Maya. Everything you’ve done, everythingyouhave sacrificed has been to make them proud, and I won’t allow you to live in constant guilt by choosing us. And selfishly, I won’t allowmyselfto be put in the middle of something you’re not sure about. I keep getting my heart wrecked by you, and I’m not saying I don’t partly understand your reasoning, but at some point, I have to value myself too.”
