Page 41 of Game Changer
His eyes narrow behind his helmet before he dips his chin and retakes his stance. At the sound of my whistle, he launches at the dummy with enough brute force to probably knockmeover. The dummy goes flying, but it slides out from beneath him again since he didn’t drive through the tackle with his feet.
“Fuck!” He slams his fist on the turf. The kid is thirteen, so he shouldn’t be cussing, but it’s my job to coach. Not parent.
“You’re tired. We’ll try again next week.”
He slowly rises to his feet, defeated and exhausted. “It’s impossible.”
“It’s not. You’re a powerhouse, Jake. It’s just the technique we need to work on. I’ll take some videos at the next practice and show you exactly what I’m talking about. Film will really help open your eyes to what you need to improve on.”
“You’d do that? Stay a few minutes late again with me?”
“Of course. It’s my—” It’snotmy job, but damn, if it almost slipped off my tongue. “I can feel your dedication to nail this, Jake, so of course I’ll help. But you know whatwon’thelp?” I wait for him to guess, but he keeps his mouth shut. “Talking negatively about yourself. With practice, you’ll get it in no time. Now go meet your mom. She’s been waiting for a while over there.” I wave at the woman in sunglasses and a visor with a book sprawled on her lap. She isn’t reading, though. She stopped when Cameron sat at the opposite end, sweating and shirtless after running around with the kids for the past hour. Her book has long since been forgotten.
“Thanks,” he says. “I’ll see you next week.”
When he jogs off to meet his mom, Cameron strides over to take his place. “Mark was right,” he muses. “You’re a damn good coach.”
I roll my eyes. “Please. Don’t tell me he roped you into his plan too.”
“He didn’t have to rope me into anything. It’s clear that you’re attached to these kids, Ethan. Why are you so hesitant to accept a position?”
We don’t have enough time in the world to open this can of worms. Telling him about my constant comparison to him and everyone around me, the stress of performing during a game, and the random bursts of anxiety, it’s all too much. There’s a time and place for that conversation, and today isn’t it.
“I just don’t know if it’s something I want to fully commit to. Being a coach is a lot of pressure, and I don’t know if I can live up to that.”
He cocks his head to the side. “You’re already doing it.”
“I’m aguest. It’s different.”
“Riiight,”he says, clearly not believing me. “Sure.”
We walk back to the bleachers together so I can grab my water. I chug half of it before I say, “I’m thinking about it, all right? It’s a big decision to make. I just, I feel like it’s a downgrade after turning down a scholarship to play, you know?”
“You think coaching is a downgrade?”
“No, but it’s embarrassing to refuse to play in college and resort to coaching years later. I don’t want people to talk.”
Cameron sits on the bleachers and releases a heavy sigh. “You’ve always cared too much about what other people think, Ethan. Who the fuck cares? If coaching is something you love to do, then do it. You’re good at it.Greatat it. It’d be stupid not to explore it.”
I know he’s right, but it’s not something I’m ready to battle. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I have bigger fish to fry than agreeing to become the assistant coach. I fucked up painfully last night, and my only hope is that Cameron, the previous womanizer, can give me the advice I desperately need.
“I need to talk to you about something else,” I say, switching the subject. I sit next to him and hang my head in my hands. “I’m the biggest idiot alive.”
“I assumed as much since I haven’t heard anything about what happened with Maya. What’d you do? Lay it on me.”
Leaving the more intimate details out, I give him the gist of our night. “She fell asleep on my chest, but I didn’t know if she wanted me to sleep over. I don’t want to speak negatively about her, but you know her past as well as I do. Staying the night with a guy isn’t her thing, but holding her? It felt so fucking right. Too right. And doubts crept into my head about what our time together meant, so before she could shatter my ego again, I left.”
Cameron turns to stare at me open-mouthed. “Youleft?”
“I didn’t know what else to do!” Going into a full-blown anxiety attack next to the girl I’ve wanted for years didn’t seem like the best option. I’m petrified of her telling me she’s changed her mind. “I ghosted her before she could do it to me again.” I groan. “And that’s so fucking stupid, but I let my fears get the best of me. What do I do? How do I fix it?”
“Christ, Ethan. You need to go and tell her that you regret it.Now. She’s probably confiding in her friends and coming up with a revenge plan as we speak. Women who’ve been wronged can be downright brutal.” He shudders at the thought. “I understand your fear of things turning into a repeat, but by leaving her without an explanation, especially after your night together, you just lost any chance at it goingright. Does that make sense?”
“It does, I just—” I palm a hand over my face in frustration. “I’m notyou, man. I can’t show up and let my body do the talking. I’m not confident. I’ll stumble over my words and look like an idiot. She’s like the girl version of you, and it’s intimidating as fuck. I’m surprised the two ofyouhaven’t hooked up.” The thought has the bile rising in my throat, and it only worsens when Cameron arches a brow.
“You think I didn’t try to hook up with her back in the day?” At the murderous expression on my face, he winces. “Look, I’m not proud of who I was in high school, but to be fair, you never told me you were into her, and I wasn’t in a place to consider Maddie’s feelings either. I was drunk at a party and flirting with anyone with a pulse.” I still feel like tackling him until he adds, “The point I’m trying to make is she turned me down. She said she was interested in someone else.” Hehuffs out a laugh. “I didn’t understand it back then, but I do now. Whether you want to believe it or not, Maya’s waited for you too. You don’t need to be me; you need to be you becauseyou’rethe guy she’s head over heels for. Now, will you let your fears get in the way of making things official, or will you finally claim your girl?”
My hands are already shaking at the thought of laying it all out in the open for her and putting my heart on the line, but Cameron is right. There’s always a risk that she won’t feel the same, but I’ll definitely lose her if I don’t tell her and run away.
