Page 40 of Game Changer
I arch a brow. “And yet you let him linger by your side like a lost puppy all night while you delivered drinks.”
Maddie squeals at this new information. “You guys would make such a cute couple! I could totally see it. Opposites attract, you know? You’re like a badass biker chick, and Mark’s the golden retriever who sneaks into your life whether you want him to or not.”
“We arenottogether,” Tabi reiterates.
“You also dressed up like a cat. Is it a coincidence that Mark calls you Tabi cat? I think not.”
Tabihuffs at the ceiling, her cheeks turning bright pink. “All right. Enough about me. Aren’t we talking aboutyourshit show of a love life?”
Maddie, who takes the hint, sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. “Ethan doesn’t regret it, Maya. He’s been pining for you since, well, sinceforever.”
“Then why would he leave?” I’ve been fighting the ball lodged in my throat all morning, but tears prick the backs of my eyes before I can stop them. I’m not a crier, but Ethan leaving without a word is one of the most hurtful things that has happened to me in a long time. I shouldn’t be surprised when I basically did the same thing to him after we first slept together, but I am. I thought we were past that, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was seeking his revenge, and . . .
No.
Ethan wouldn’t do that.
“I already told you what you need to do,” Tabi says. “Just talk to the guy. Communication is simple. Straight up ask him why he left, and you’ll have your answer.”
And get my heart broken again in the process? The thought of embarrassing myself is horrifying when I have so much to lose. Ethan is the guy I want to be with, and last night was the eye-opener I needed. I was set on visiting home as soon as I could get the time off work to see my parents. I was going to do whatever it took to get them to come around to the idea of Ethan and me, but waking up alone ripped both those ideas and my heart into tiny little pieces.
How can a night so memorable turn into such a nightmare?
I wish I had woken up to him leaving so I could have asked where he was going. I wish he hadn’t given me so many orgasms so I could have kept my eyes open once he was finished. The last thing I remember is him holding me against his chest and thennothing. The blinding sunlight woke me up to dirty sheets and empty promises.
“I agree with Tabi,” Maddie says, mulling it over. “My brother is a lot of things, but he’s not a dick. He wouldn’t leave you after doing something like that without good reason. You still haven’t told me why you ghosted him in the first place, though, so I don’t exactly know the whole story.”
Because admitting to Maddie that my parents don’t approve of her brother is hard for me to confess. My parents are nice people who only want the best for me, and I’m sure if they got to know Ethan, they’d love him. They just wouldn’t love him forme.
“It doesn’t matter,” I reply. “Honestly, I think my ego is taking the biggest hit. Waking up alone was . . . new. I’m normally kicking guys out of my bed, not the other way around.”
I’m not used to fighting for anyone. Guys would do all the work, get what they were after, and then I’d go on with my life with no strings attached. My feelings were never invested, but they are with Ethan, and knowing he’s the first guy to ever truly hold my heart is terrifying.
“What if I’m afraid of the reason?” I continue. “I know communication is the best idea. I could call and get it over with, but what if he says something I’m not prepared to hear?”
Maddie reaches over to squeeze my hand. “Then I’ll be here to pick up the pieces.”
“Me too,” Tabi adds. “Inner circle, remember?”
My heart swells at the potential of having not one true friend buttwo.
“Thanks, guys. I’ll think about it. In themeantime, I’d like to chug some caffeine after my lack of sleep last night.” I can’t do anything without a clear head. I’ve been irrational regarding all my decisions about Ethan, so I’m trying to do better.Bebetter. I want to be someone he deserves. Although I don’t know why he left me in the middle of the night, Ethan’s heart is too big to intentionally do something so cruel. There’s a logical explanation for it.
I just have to grow a pair and get the courage to ask.
Twenty
Ethan
HavingtheCameron Holden as a guest at practice had the kids acting like they’d had an overload of sugar. None of them could sit still,thrilledto show the NFL-bound quarterback their moves. It didn’t bother me any, since I’m used to living in his shadow. Cameron is taller. Funnier. More talented. He’s always been the person I’ve looked up to because I knew I’d never match his potential.
Throughout practice, he ran drills with Mark on the offense while I worked on defense again. I hate to admit it, but I look forward to these practices now. When I’m not working on papers or a presentation for school, I’m researching new drills to introduce to the kids.
I’ve formed a close relationship with Jake. He reminds me of myself, with his shyness and hesitancy around the others, but his love for the game shines through. I’m pushing him because I know there’s a beast on the field buried beneath his layers of insecurities, and maybe it’s partly because I couldn’t find the one everyone claimed was in me too.
“I can’t do it,” he grumbles, his chest heaving. “It spins out from beneath me whenever I aim for the tackle. It doesn’t make sense. I’m pushing as hard as I can.”
“Strength isn’t the only important part of a tackle,” I instruct from the sideline. Practice ended ten minutes ago, but Jake pleaded for a few extra minutes. Two dummies are in front of him to represent a blocker and the ball carrier. The object is for Jake to create separation for the blocker so he can tackle the carrier, but he’s having difficulty with it. “You’re lowering your head before the impact, so you’re connecting off-center with the dummy. Your shoulder needs to hit dead center. Try again. This time, maintain eye contact with your target. You’ve got this.”
