Page 16 of Game Changer
The sound of espresso machines and the smell of coffee beans instantly relax my mind. Potted plants line the walls and open windows, and multiple tables are scattered around the space. It’s the afternoon, so it’s not busy. Only a few students with their laptops in front of them occupy the place.
But the girl in front of me has me debating whether or not I need the caffeine. With her perfect ass hugged tightly by a pair of denim shorts, I’d recognize her body anywhere. After all, I’ve fantasized about her hips for years. I’ve always felt like their Coke-bottle outline was made for my hands.
“Caffeine boost?” I say when I step behind her in line.
Caffeine boost?
Thatis what you come up with of all the things to say? God, you’re an idiot.
She tenses for a split second before she glances over her shoulder and shoots me a smile. “The first day was rough. I hate everything about school, but it’s necessary, so . . .”
Why? Because of her parents? I’ve always known they’ve been strict with her. Maya’s parents moved here from Mexico when she was five to give her a better future, and Maya does everything humanly possible to make them proud. I’ve only met her parents in passing, never officially, but I know enough to understand they put a lot of pressure on her without realizing it. Maya’s determination to make them proud is admirable, but I wonder if she’s ever thought about chasing her dreams instead. She’s already a licensed cosmetologist. Why doesn’t she see where that takes her?
But I’m not one to offer any life advice when I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing with mine, so I keep my mouth shut.
“Do you want to sit together?” she asks.
“Yeah.” My reply is instant, and it’s an effort not to cringe. It’s so fucking obvious that I’m down bad for her, but it doesn’t seem to put her off. With her brown-sugar espresso and my Americano in hand, we find a secluded table in the back.
I watch her hands wrap around the cup before she brings it to her lips, fascinated with the sight. There isn’t a thing Maya Garcia does that I’mnotutterly obsessed with. The woman is perfect to me. She’s my dream girl.
“I’m glad we ran into each other,” she says. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday, but didn’t know how.”
My brows quirk up. “Apologize? What for?”
“I feel like . . . I don’t know. I feel awful about how things went down between us, Ethan. You deserved more of an explanation than me disappearing out of your life, but believe it or not, it was just as painful for me to walk away as it was for you. I miss our friendship. I miss our late-night talks over ice cream, but sleeping together made everything more complicated, and now that we aren’t sleeping together anymore, I feel like I have to watch what I say around you. The thong comment? I said it without thinking, but as soon as it left my mouth, I realized how wrong it was. That’s how our friendship was before, you know? But the last thing I want to do is lead you on. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.”
“Then why did you ghost me?” It’s out before I can stop it. I usually think things through before I react, but I’ve thought about this every day since she walked out of my life five months ago. “Was it something I did?” My voice drops lower into a whisper. “Was the sex bad?”
“What? God, no. Our sex was . . .” She sighs and shakes her head. “Would it make you feel better to know my walking away had nothing to do with you? It was my decision.”
“But now you want to be friends again.”
“Is that so wrong? We’re living next door to each other. It’d be nice if we could at least see each other without all this awkwardness. And I’ll totally understand if being friends again is too much for you. I don’t blame you if you’d rather keep your distance, but I don’t think I’ll forgive myself if you don’t at least know that I miss you in my life.”
So, our falling out had nothing to do with me, but she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to share the reason? It doesn’t make me feel better in the slightest. It just waters the seed of doubt I’ve let fester inside me since she vanished, and now she wants to be friends. How can I possibly be around her without wanting to kiss her again? My heart isn’t ready for that. But am I prepared to let her go completely? Am I ready to not have her in my life at all? Whether I want to admit it or not, living without her had me transforming into the cold, lifeless version of myself I was before I met her. Being friends wouldn’t be everything I want, but it would besomething, and isn’t something better than nothing?
I’ve never been one to make irrational decisions. Well, except when Maya told me to kiss her five months ago. I didn’t think twice before my lips met hers, but even then, I stopped it and went back to the house to have a moment of clarity to be sure it was something I wanted to take the risk on.
This isn’t a minor decision, especially when my heart is on the line.
It’s better to be safe than sorry.
“Can I think about it? I don’t know if being friends is something I’ll be able to handle, and I’ll have to give it some thought before I give you a final answer.”
Her full lips twist into a sad smile. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. I’m just grateful you’re considering it.” A liquid sheen coats her eyes, and for the life of me, I can’t understand why she looks so upset about this. If she said the word, we could be together. I would forgive her without any questions asked.
What the hell happened to make her run away?
The urge to lean over and wipe away her tears is insufferable. I’d do anything to take away her pain, and because of that, even though I’ll go back to the dorm to think about her proposition, I already know what I’ll decide.
Maya means the entire world to me, and if I have to choose between something or nothing?
It’ll always be something.
Eight
Maya
