Page 95 of Sacred Vow
The cops hounded her all night, acting as though she’d been the one to do something wrong, and I don’t doubt that has everything to do with her connection to me, but after the paramedic confirmed just how bad her concussion was and gave strict instructions that she be left alone, the cops finally took off.
Tilly needed four stitches in her hairline from where Jordan cut her with his knife. I’m just glad that I got there when I did. Had I been even a minute later, I could have been carrying her out of there in a body bag, and I never would have forgiven myself. Losing her would have destroyed me, and I hate that it’s taken something like this for me to realize just how much I need her.
I’m in love with her. Fuck the vow I made her take. It doesn’t matter anymore because I’m never letting her go. Demon or not, she belongs right here with me.
I lay with her for hours, watching her sleep soundly in my arms, and by the time midday rolls around, she’s just starting to stir. She groans in her sleep, consciousness returning as her body remembers the pain she endured over the past twenty-four hours.
“Mmmm,” she moans, rubbing her face against my chest as my arm tightens around her waist.
“You okay? Need any painkillers?”
Tilly shakes her head. “Wow. I’ve been awake for less than two seconds, and you already want me to swallow something. Real nice, Caesar.”
I shake my head as I let out an exasperated breath, but there’s no denying the smirk that pulls across my lips. This woman never ceases to amaze me. “Glad to see you’re feeling better.”
The softest laugh rumbles through her chest, but it quickly fades. “Has there been any update from the police? Do they need anything more from me?”
“I think you’re in the clear for now. They got everything they needed last night.”
“And Jordan?”
The sound of his name on her lips sends an irrational rage pulsing through my veins. “They found him a little after five in the morning. An anonymous tip came in to say he was unconscious in the storm cellar, no doubt his mom. He’s in a coma, and as far as I’m aware, they’re not sure when . . . orifhe’ll ever wake up.”
Tilly nods before shifting in my arms and lifting her sleepy gaze to mine. “I’m sorry,” she finally says. “You asked me to tell you to stop, and I couldn’t. I was selfish. I was only thinkingabout what I wanted . . . what I needed. But you . . . I should have told you to stop.”
“Don’t try to shoulder the guilt and blame for what I did. My actions were my own, and if he dies, I won’t be sorry about it. I did what I had to do, and I’d do it again.” I let out a breath, holding her stare a moment longer. “The only regret I have is that you had to witness that. I don’t want you to fear me, Tilly.”
Her brows furrow, and she adjusts herself in bed, climbing up onto her knees before moving over me until she’s straddling my waist. “I don’t fear you, Caesar. I understand that you have demons, and I respect that, but I don’t fear them because I trust you.”
“You saw me in that cellar, Tilly. You saw what I am capable of and how quickly I can lose control. If you hadn’t told me to stop, I would have killed him without question. I would have kept going until I physically couldn’t swing my arms anymore. You shouldn’t trust me. I can’t even trust myself.”
Anger flashes in her eyes, and she shoves against my bare chest, her bright green stare searching mine. “You don’t get to decide who or what is best for me. I’m in this for the long haul, and there’s nothing you can say or do that’s going to change my mind, so stop trying to push me away. I’m not walking away from this. Not again.”
“I know. I’m not trying to push you away,” I tell her, taking her arms and slowly brushing my hands up and down, trying to console her. “I just want you to understand who I am, who the man you’re letting yourself fall in love with is. You deserve better than a man who’s controlled by the demons of his past. I’m unpredictable. I can’t be trusted not to lose control.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t scare me, Caesar. You would never hurt me.”
I focus on her bright green stare, really taking her in. “Do you truly believe that?”
“Yes,” she says, her fingers spreading against my chest. “Last night was proof of that. I trust you with my life. You did what you had to do to save me. You allowed your demons to rule you just to give me what I needed. So, no. I don’t fear you, and I don’t believe you would ever hurt me.”
I nod. “You’re right. I would never hurt you, but last night made me realize how possessive I am over you. The sight of other men touching you, near you . . . It drives me insane.”
“I like you possessive. It makes me feel desired. Like I’m all yours,” she says, leaning into me and brushing her lips over mine. “But that’s not entirely true. If you were truly possessive, you never would have been able to watch me with those two masked men at Vixen. You liked watching the way they worked me and the way I worked them in return because you knew nothing was going to happen. Last night with Jordan was different. He wanted to hurt me, he wanted to take me away from you, and you only lost control because I asked you to. Because it’s what I needed at that moment.”
“I will never not be there to save you, Tilly.”
“I know,” she says, leaning into me again. My hand roams up and down her back, just glad to have her safe in my arms. “So, we’re doing this whole being honest thing, huh?”
Suspicion swarms through me, and I take her by the shoulders, pushing her off my chest so that I can see those bright green eyes of hers. “What?”
Tilly cringes. “I, uhh . . . I kinda googled you the morning after I slept here while you were still sleeping.”
Well, fuck.
“You did, huh?”
She nods, guilt thick in her stare. “I may have read some things, and then when I went camping, Zeph might have implied that all the things I thought I knew from those articles weren’t correct. But I wanted you to know that I know, and even thoughyou had to do a horrible thing and spent ten years paying for it, I don’t believe you’re a bad man. I think you’re incredible, and I think you’re the type of man who would go to the ends of the earth to protect the people he loves.”
