Page 25 of Dead Air
“Wait!” Niall raised his head, blinking. “I know you!”
Chance’s brows jumped and he nodded slowly. “Yes… We’ve been hanging out for weeks.”
“No. I mean, Iknow you. We’ve…done it before. A lot.” Niall pushed Chance away and looked down at his own hands and his body. “Is this a dream?”
“What are you talking about?” Chance reached for him but Niall held him off, shaking his head.
“Something’s not right! I thought they were just dreams but when we kissed, it wasjustlike those other times. It was like I alreadyknow youand I know exactly what I want you to do to me.”
“You know that’s not possible, though. Right?” Chance asked slowly.
Niall nodded. “Right. But I’m not crazy, Chance. That didn’t feel…new or strange. It felt…too right, if that’s possible,” he said and received another puzzled look.
“That sounds like a good thing. Why are you getting upset?”
“Because this isn’t déjà vu. We’ve…flickedbefore!” Niall’s hands flailed as he turned, suddenly wishing he wasn’t in histiny cabin. There was no room to spiral and the walls weren’t tall enough to climb.
“I think I’d remember that,” Chance murmured, sparking Niall’s minuscule and permanently dormant temper.
“Do not gaslight me, Chance! It doesn’t make any sense but don’t tell me I’m imagining things or crazy.”
Chance held up his hands and took a few steps back. “I wasn’t going to but?—”
“Don’t!” Niall covered his ears, willing his brain to work and to make it all make sense. Instead, all he heard was Chance panting and growling as he flicked Niall into the mattress and his own feral screams. “Just go!” he shouted as he pointed at the door.
“Niall?”
“Go!” He turned his back to Chance, fisting his hands in his hair. “I don’t know what’s happening but I can’t think with you this close.”
“I’m…sorry, Niall. Whatever I did— I’ll go but I’ll be back in the morning to check on you.” Chance took a hesitant step toward Niall before backing away and finally leaving, quietly closing the door behind him.
“What the heck is going on?” Niall muffled a scream and went to see how many tea bags he had left. He swiped the jar off the shelf, regretting it wasn’t gin. “That’s the last thing you need.”
All of Niall’s worst relationship mistakes and worst coping strategies involved alcohol. He stopped drinking after he left Andy and his old life behind. Wishing for a crisp gin and tonic—or ten—was a good indicator that he was headed for the bad place again. Niall just couldn’t understand how he’d ended up there with Chance without realizing it.
“I did not imagine that,” he stated, opening the jar and sighing at the last three bags. “Flick it, I’ll figure out how to getmore tomorrow. This is an emergency,” he decided and swung around when the flame from one of the candles on the table swayed. “Who’s there?”
He held the jar against his chest as he searched the shadows and the window over his bed. There was no one in the cabin with Niall and the window was shut. Just to be sure, he hurried over and locked the door and closed the curtains. Niall lit another candle and put a pot of water on the burner.
There was still a maddening tickle on the back of his neck, like he was being watched as he prepared his tea. He kept throwing glances behind him and stared at the corner behind the door but the tickle grew into shivers and Niall’s skin was crawling by the time the water began to boil.
“Not this again,” he whispered into his mug, curling into a tight ball around his knees in his armchair. “No. I’m safe up here.” He closed his eyes, refusing to return to that hypervigilant state. In his six years on the mountain, Niall had never felt hunted or vulnerable. “This isn’t like Andy.”
Whatever had happened with Chance had nothing to do with the past. He was nothing like Andy and Niall’s instincts screamed that he was safe with Chance. They also screamed that something was very wrong and Niall would bet his life that he and Chance knew each otherintimately.Not just as two people who had hooked up a handful of times, but as lovers who had freely and repeatedly explored each other’s bodies.
He heard the faintest, softest sound from the corner—just a hint of an exhale—but Niall jumped to his feet as if he’d heard another gunshot. “Who’s there?” he asked as he rushed forward, his hand extended in front of him. Niall swiped at the air behind the door and beat against both walls, feeling like a complete fool. “You’re not doing this again!” he scolded himself.
Then, Niall began to have doubts. What if he had imagined it all or he was crazy?
He took his tea to bed and pulled the quilt up to his neck, trying to fight off the chill. His skin prickled and Niall’s stomach soured as he wondered if he had overreacted and was experiencing some kind of panic reflex. He’d buried all the memories away and had avoided intimacy, dodging Shelby’s hopeful glances for years and laughing off Chance’s attempts to get to know him better.
What if Niall was truly broken and his brain hit the escape hatch whenever a decent man got too close?
He thought back to the kiss and tried to pinpoint when and what had spooked him. The kiss itself had been perfect and so much more than he had expected. Instead of wild nerves and awkwardness, there was intense heat and sweet relief. He knew that Chance would give him what he needed and Niall knew exactly how he’d do it because he’d done it so many times before.
The air moved next to Niall, making his hair ruffle and winding his nerves even tighter. “Stop!” he threw the mug as he covered his face, shrieking frantically as he raced from the bed. “Whoever’s there, get out!” he screamed, yanking open the drawer by the sink and grabbing the biggest knife. “Get out!” He waved it around him, shaking as his breaths came in quick, hyperventilating hisses.
How could he have found his way back to this so quickly after years of peace and freedom? Just one kiss and Niall had tripped right back into Hell. He glanced down at the knife and realized he was holding an ace.Ifhe was right and he wasn’t alone.
