Page 50 of Shades of Mercy
“Call it bullshit but a snake is a snake. You and I have danced around the tension between us for years. When we finally gave in and followed the feeling, you were into it as much as I was, if not more. I’m still trying to figure out if you’re using Mateo as an excuse or if you’re afraid of me.”
“Afraid of you?” he scoffed. “Ridiculous.”
“Really? Since that night two years ago, you have dodged me like a bullet.”
“Wrong. And I’m not scared of you.”
She took a step, leaving only a foot’s distance between them. She lifted her chin so she could look up at him. “You’re not afraid of losing control, huh?”
“Mercy, we’ve been through this. I’m not the man for anyone.”
“I think you’re hiding behind that façade. I think you felt something for me, and you don’t know how to respond to those emotions.” She could be testing the waters, but she wasn’t going to dance around the elephant in the room any longer.
“I won’t deny that our time together was incredible, but the next morning I felt guilty because I should never have allowed myself to succumb.”
“To what? Emotion? Sensation? You’re not a robot, Jag. I completely understand because I’ve witnessed it with my brother and his wife, but stop using it as a safety net. To succeed in your job for years, you’ve had to keep all your emotions bottled up inside because showing emotion reveals weakness. Well, you’re home now.”
He was quiet for a moment, then said, “You don’t know me, Mercy. What you’ve seen of me is Jag at holiday gatherings. I carry a lot of demons and as much as I want to say that I’m healed, I still have a few miles to go.”
“Everyone is always evolving and growing. You can’t keep putting walls up and keeping everyone at arm’s length.”
He shrugged. “It’s a long story.”
She sighed. “I respect that you're self-aware enough to know you've more healing to do, but I can’t just sit here and keep waiting. You’re not oblivious to the fact that I’ve carried feelings for you for a long time, long before we slept together. In my heart, I think you have feelings for me too. If seeing me connecting with a man bothers you, then I suggest you do something about it or don’t look.” She gave him a tiny push, and he stepped back into the hallway. “I will respect that I’m not here to search for romance, but should it happen, then so be it. I’m going to bed now.” She closed the door on him.
She waited to see if he would demand that she open the door again, but he didn’t. After a few seconds, she heard his footsteps fade down the hallway.
Crawling into bed, she lay there staring at the shadows on the ceiling.
Perhaps she should have told Jag that she wasn’t interested in Bones. While he was handsome, kind, and interesting, she had to admit that she only wanted Jag. She couldn’t recall a time when she hadn’t.
The first time she met him, there had been an instant attraction. But once he realized she was Mateo’s sister, Jag’s distance had only frustrated her. Feeling restless, she rolled onto her stomach.
Then onto her side.
She couldn’t find a comfortable position if her life depended on it.
It was going to be a long night.
Chapter Thirteen
“If I could get a couple of you to help in the search, we could work a lot faster,” Sheriff Shelby Monarch said, looking from Puma to Jag. Since Charley had resigned and she’d been placed in the position temporarily, until the election, Jag had been quite impressed with her accomplishments in catching criminals. And she had no reservations about using the community as a resource.
“How long has the kid been missing on Fire Mountain?” Jag asked.
“Two hours. He wandered off from the tent while Mom and Dad were sleeping. The radar is calling for a torrential downpour in the next couple of hours, which will drop temperatures significantly and the mountain terrain will become slippery, with portions of it likely to flood. We won’t be able to search. We’re at the mercy of time right now. I’ve isolated a perimeter where I think he could be. It’s quite broad because we don’t know which direction he headed. I can’t get my search team beyond a certain point. They’re not trained, and we can’t put any volunteers at risk.”
“I’ll take the search,” Jag said, looking to Puma. “I’ll take Bear and Crow, if that’s okay. They’re our best trackers.” His mind wandered to Mercy. He didn’t want to leave her, but he had tracking experience. “Sounds like a plan,” Puma said. “I wish I could be out there with you.”
“You stay with Bryar. You said she has a doctor’s appointment and she’ll want you there.”
“Glad I can count on you, buddy.” Puma slapped him on the back. “Jag, Bear, and Crow will bring the kid home,” he said to Shelby. “You have three great trackers.”
“I’m grateful. We'd better get going and make the most of the light and clear skies that we have.”
“I’ll let Bear and Crow know we’re packing up,” Jag said.
“I'll meet you men at the entrance of Fire Mountain in thirty minutes,” Shelby said. Jag wasted no time. He contacted Bear and Crow and told them to grab their gear. Then Jag headed to the horse barn. He found Bones brushing one of the mares.
