Page 15 of The Serial Killer's Sister
Ross isn’t sitting.
‘Here.’ I give him his glass and take a seat on the cuddle chair by the window. There’s a chill in the air, but it’s a warm May evening so I know it’s nothing to do with weather and everything to do with atmosphere. ‘I have a few things to say.’
‘Me too,’ he says, taking a sip of wine.
‘Can you sit with me?’ I pat the space beside me, my stomach tensing as I watch his face. We’ve been good together lately. Our bumpy patch from last year seems like a distant memory. Or it had done, until this moment.Now, as I await his reaction with trepidation, that patch comes hurtling to the fore once again. Our discussions about the future of our marriage,myresolution that we shouldn’t bring children into this world even though it was at odds with my yearning for them, were some of the hardest conversations we’d ever had. We made it past that test, though; put our arguments behind us – laid them to rest – after Ross came around to my way of thinking and we moved on. But now, with this new challenge, the old issue feels like it’s bubbling just under the surface, threatening to expose itself. Nothing is ever truly buried.
‘Look, it doesn’t matter what spin you put on it …’ Ross sits down, but not beside me, and he keeps his eyes averted. ‘You should’ve told me straight away, not let me find out in such a … a …humiliatingway, Anna.’ He’s keeping me at arm’s length, preventing physical contact.
‘Humiliating? You thinkyoufound out in a humiliating way? Try being dragged into Craig Beaumont’s bloody office and being forced to watch it in front of him!’ My face is hot, about to burst into flames, my entire body’s volume of blood seemingly squashed into it at this moment.
‘I’d take that over a client, someone who’s known me and my family for years, being sent a video link on her mobile phone while I was trying to close a deal, Anna.’
‘Bit rude to look at a video while having a meeting.’
‘That’s not the point and you know it. She opened it, watched with her mouth agape, then stared at me as though I was a serial killer—’
‘That’s not funny.’
‘No. And neither is seeing my deranged wife about to attack a child, Anna.’ His eyes bulge, the vein on histemple throbs. I haven’t seen him this angry. Ever. ‘What were you thinking?’
I stand up and begin to pace. ‘Obviously I wasn’t thinking, was I? I was reeling from the detective’s visit. My mind was all over the place. But whoever posted that video did it to make me look bad—’
‘They didn’t have to try very hard.’
A deep ache pulls at my stomach as the contempt in his voice hits me. ‘It didn’t happen the way it looks. Honestly.’ I suddenly feel so tired, and sit back down, head in hands.
Ross huffs. ‘The camera never lies.’
‘Well, actually, that’s not true. But anyway, it’s not that – the footage was abruptly stopped, Ross. Just at the point it seemed like I was going to lay my hands on her. If it’d been allowed to play out, you, and everyone else, would’ve seen that I didn’t hurt her, I was apologetic and helped her back to the pavement.’
‘You’re not getting it are you? Even if what you say is true, you’d already scarred that poor girl with the way you launched at her.’
‘But … like I said, I apologised …’ My words sound feeble now, and as Ross shrugs and averts his gaze, I fear I’m wasting them.
‘If that’s the way you treat kids, Anna, maybe it’s a good thing we’re not having them.’
My jaw slackens and I have to fight back tears. Great. Heisstill holding a grudge about our agreement not to have children. All these years working hard to create this life, and within a day, it’s gone to rat shit. How can something that’s so challenging and difficult to gain be so easy to lose?
MAY 10th
Three days to go
Chapter 10
It’s still dark when the vibration beneath my pillow stirs me. Groggily, I reach a hand under it and silence the alarm. It’s not as though I need the wake-up call – the night has been long and almost entirely devoid of sleep. Even the hypnotic sound of the waves has been no match for the thoughts crashing around in my mind.
The bedroom is oppressive; the darkness is not yet diluted by the sun. It’s four-thirty, an hour before sunrise. Ross used to think I was mad when we first moved here and I’d regularly get up, pull a pair of joggers over my pyjamas and take a travel mug filled with coffee to Ness Cove Beach to sit on the wall and watch the sun slowly peep up over the water. Peace like that is hard to find.
He came with me a few times, and we snuggled together safe and warm in each other’s arms as we enjoyed the stunning colours and revelled in how wonderful the natural world was. After last night, if I were to suggest he join me for sunup now, Ross would definitely decline the offer.I turn my face towards his. Soft, snuffly breaths escape his pursed lips and I lean closer, touch mine against his in the lightest of kisses. He’s a heavy sleeper and even a full-on snog wouldn’t disturb him, but I daren’t risk it now.
I creep out of our bedroom into the spare room, where I laid out my clothes before going to bed. I quickly dress and go downstairs to make up a flask of coffee. I grab the lunchbox I packed last night and stuff it, along with everything else I’ll need, into my old backpack. Tiptoeing unnecessarily, I make my way to the front door and open it a crack, then pause, my heart thumping. Will Henry be somewhere outside watching the house? Waiting for me to make my move? My fingers tighten around the handle until they lock, as though they’re attempting to stop me leaving.
‘Don’t be so ridiculous.’ My whispered words sound loud in the dark, quiet hall. A squirming sense of dread pushes through my veins; the wordstayrepeats itself inside my mind. I could be making a huge mistake by following Henry’s clue, yet the risk of not following it is significant, too. I have no choice, and he knows it.
I open the door fully, checking up and down the road. There’s no one about that I can see. No strange cars parked nearby with silhouetted figures inside them, keeping watch. A surge of unidentifiable emotion fills my stomach and stops me in my tracks. I think it’s a mix of relief and disappointment. I’m grateful I’m not being observed by Henry, but I would’ve thought the police – DI Walker – would be keen to make sure I was safe. Seeing as they were the ones who alerted me to the danger I might be in, that I might be the next victim. DI Walkerwas quick to reassure Ross that he’d post a police officer outside if possible, but clearly I’m not worthy of the resources.
Perhaps theywantme to be the next victim. One way of flushing Henry out is to make me the bait.
