Page 40 of Mafia Kings & Wedding Rings
“She can also give you a baby, Ivo. Do you seriously not understand the magnitude of that? This isn’t some random woman we are talking about.”
“I know,” I replied, shoulders slumping in defeat.
I’d gone about this shit all wrong. I wasn’t using rational logic when it came to Emerald. She took me back to a time where I cared about my dreams and hers. Where we talked about all the shit we wanted to do and be in life. Simpler times. She hadn’t been there for me when I was crashing out because she left and didn’t give me a second thought. I didn’t even get a goodbye, buthere I was ready to risk it all for her. I’d let nostalgia captivate me. Of course, it took my mama to bring me down to reality.
“If you know, then you need to fix this!”
“How? Jordan already has her heart set on using Emerald.”
“Then I guess you better let go of whatever it is you think you feel for her. Jordan is your family. Your wife. You made a commitment to her when Emerald ran off scared because her daddy didn’t approve. You don’t shit on a woman like Jordan when she’s been there for you through all your bullshit. I gave up everything to be with your father because he was the love of my life, that’s love!”
Solemn, I dropped onto the arm of the sofa nearby. Rossi was right, but my heart didn’t want to accept that. Being with Emerald was like coming up for air and being resuscitated. My perspective on life had changed. Suddenly I remembered when I used to sketch and paint. The urge to dust off my canvas oils now lingered in me. I’d compartmentalized everything with Jordan, giving her pieces of myself because Emerald had already reserved so much. I couldn’t unpack it, and seeing her today brought it all back, But is she worth the risk of losing everything I had?
“I’m going to shower, Ma. I’ll see you later.” I stopped to kiss her forehead and sulked to the staircase so I could go to my room.
“Sunday to be exact. Dinner is at six p.m., as you know. Goodnight!” she called after me.
When I reached the bedroom I shared with my wife, I slowly closed the door behind me and pressed my back against it. This space had traces of her everywhere. I let her have this area because my mancave was designated for me and me only. Jordan had our room decked out in royalty-style furniture with a large king-size canopy bed, matching bedside tables, and huge his and hers dressers. On each side of our master bathroomthere was a walk-in closet, and both of us had a wardrobe most people would kill for. I had a shoe fetish, but hers was handbags. No matter how many I gifted her, she’d still walk in the house with three or four more. Our life wasn’t perfect, but she didn’t deserve my disloyalty. I dove headfirst into this shit with Emerald, completely disregarding Jordan, and I didn’t like the sudden doubt creeping in.
Stripping out of my clothes, I dumped them in the hamper in the bathroom and ran a hot shower. Before I hopped inside, I brushed my teeth and rinsed with Listerine. The whole time that hot water dripped off me, all I could think about was Emerald. Her smell, the way she moaned, how tight she was when I was inside her. Shit had me bricking up without my consent. I had to rub one out before washing myself off and climbing out to get dressed. Picking up my phone off the nightstand from beside my bed, I swiped to her phone number to text her. My finger hovered there for a minute before something in me screamed to make a choice. Either way, in this moment I came off as a fuck nigga to either her or Jordan. I had to figure out which woman I could live without. Tapping out of my app, I set the phone back on my bedside table and got dressed.
“There you are!” Jordan squealed when I waltzed into the kitchen. “This is for you.” She handed me a glass of whiskey and grabbed my free hand.
Dinner had the whole house smelling like a five-star spot as she pulled me along to the dimly lit dining room. Candles cast a warm amber glow over the plates set up for us to enjoy. Jordan helped me into my chair and knelt to kiss my lips. Beside my plate was a small silver gift bag. Tipping her wine glass to her lips, she tapped the box with her finger.
“Open it.”
I could tell she was excited about whatever it was, and I was trying to get to that place with her. It was going to take sometime. My head was here with her, but a big chunk of my heart was left behind with Emerald in her apartment. It was taking more strength than I thought to reach out to her. Sighing, I stuck my hand in the bag and pulled out a folded onesie. Baby Marek was scribbled on it in red cursive letters.
“Isn’t it the cutest thing?” she gushed.
“Yeah.” I smiled, but it wasn’t the reaction she was looking for as the excitement wilted from hers.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s dope as fuck, baby.”
“Ivo, I thought this was something we both wanted.” Jordan set her glass on the table.
“It is. What you mean?” I folded the onesie back and placed it in the bag.
“Well, you just aren’t as hype as I am about all this. This is finally on the verge of happening.”
“I just want to be sure you’re sure about this. Not just the baby, but Emerald and everything else.” I replaced the lid on the box and reclined in my chair.
“Why wouldn’t I be? She’s perfect on paper. We know her.”
“Do we know her though? She’s been gone a long time. People change,” I argued.
“It’s why I texted her and asked her to meet me for lunch.” Jordan picked up her glass and walked to her chair on the opposite side of the table. “We are going to be involved in this process from start to finish. I don’t want her to feel alone. She’s been through a lot if you can’t tell. I feel bad for her and her brother. She’s kind of like family if you think about it. She will be the one carrying our child.”
“As long as you’re sure about it.”
“I’m sure that I want to have your child,” Jordan simpered. “More than anything in this world.”
Hearing her put it like that left me no choice. My commitment was to my wife and this family. I’d have to shut my feelings off for Emerald during this process and do my best to distance myself from her. Seemed like that was going to be my challenge with Jordan being adamant about being a presence for her during this pregnancy. I owed it to her for being a loyal, loving, and devoted wife. She didn’t deserve anything less.
“I’ll support whatever you want, Jay. I know having a baby means more to you than anything, and I love you. I want to give you that.”
