She didn’t respond verbally, instead she just nodded somberly. Before I stood, I kissed her forehead gently then left. I hated that I had to leave her questioning everything, but I did have to check in with Jordan. She was my wife, and I had an obligation to her. This shit with Emerald was wrong as hell, but I had no regrets. By the time I got downstairs to my car, Jordan had called again. This time I answered, yanking the door open to my whip and sliding into the soft leather seats.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Where are you? The office said you left hours ago.”
“I had to take care of something. Is something wrong?”
“No. I thought we might want to celebrate though. Today went really good and I’m excited about the next steps in this whole process. I’m ready for a baby. Your baby!” she gushed, only applying more guilt to the weight I already felt.
I couldn’t share in her happiness because it came at a cost. The two things I wanted most in this world would keep me from each other in the end but were also tied together. How could I make a baby with Emerald and then go home and share a life and raise that baby with Jordan when it wasn’t what I really wanted? What kind of man could break his wife’s heart, who had been nothing but good to him, for a woman who left and turned her back on him the first chance she got? Shit should have been easy to decide, but it wasn’t. Starting my car, I crept toward home, trying to figure out how I wanted all this to play out. In a perfect world, I’d have my baby with Jordan and that would be it. Emerald coming back into my life had me second guessing everything.
“So, who is this surrogate?” My mother’s whispery, melodic tone was the first thing I heard as I stepped into the foyer of my home.
“Oh, that’s the best part! We went to school with her. Like we know her and her family,” Jordan disclosed.
Quietly closing the front door, I was pretty sure I looked disheveled, but I couldn’t very well walk into my own house and not speak to anyone. I stopped in the doorway to the living room.
“Hey!” Jordan had just swallowed a sip of white wine when she jumped to her feet with excitement. “Welcome home! Char is in the kitchen making dinner. I told her lamb chops, garlicroasted potatoes, and vegetables. You hungry? Can I get you a drink?”
“It’s been a long day, baby. I’m going to shower and change first. I’ll take that drink though. Give me like twenty.”
“Everything okay, son?” My mother glanced past Jordan hanging off me into my weary eyes.
She knew me better than anyone and could always tell when some shit was bothering me. Jordan looked me over to double check, swiping her hand against my wrinkled shirt. Her big doe eyes lingered on mine for a minute. I couldn’t read it, but the shit was borderline suspicion. There was no doubt she knew me like the back of her hand, so maybe she picked up on my mood.
“Yeah,” I assured her, nodding to emphasize my point.
“Jordan says you found a surrogate and you went to school with her. Anyone I know?”
“Oh, her name is Emerald Crane,” Jordan announced.
Ma was bringing her wine glass to her lips for a sip and nearly choked on those words. I had a feeling the name might ring a few bells for her. My family, unlike Emerald’s, knew all about how we felt for each other and why her father didn’t want her with me. Back then, Ma couldn’t stand it and said she didn’t think Emerald really cared for me if she couldn’t stand up to her daddy. She was on the verge of adulthood and getting ready to graduate yet she allowed him to continuously dictate her life.
Ma told me if she couldn’t woman up to her old man about how she felt about me, then she wasn’t the one for me. That shit went in one ear and out the other because I was already head over heels for this girl. It might have gotten buried at one point, but it never went away. Swiping my hand down my face, I sighed and shook my head.
“Baby, go shower so we can eat. I also have another surprise for you. I’ll wrap things up down here with your mama.”
“Why don’t you go check on Char and make sure everything is good in the kitchen. Give me a minute with Ivo before I go,” Rossi suggested with a smile she’d plastered on.
“Okay, thank you for stopping by and checking on us.” Jordan went to kiss her cheek then slipped past her into the dining room, which was quicker access to our kitchen.
“Now I know you’ve lost the better part of your mind.”
“Rossi—”
“Oh, it’s Rossi now?” she reared her neck all dramatic with her mouth open.
“I’m not doing this with you.” Pivoting on the heels of my Italian leather shoes, I tried to escape, but I heard that damn motor engine steering my way.
Her ass tried to run me over with that damn wheelchair.
“You cannot seriously entertain this idea, Ivo!” she hissed.
“What the fuck else am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, but not this! You are walking a very thin line and that shit is sure to snap. You cannot have it both ways, and it’s selfish as hell for you to try. Jordan doesn’t deserve that.”
“You right.” I spun to face her. “She doesn’t. She’s been wanting a baby for the last three years. We’ve gone through more than one miscarriage, and I can’t stand to see her hurt like that. She deserves a baby. Emerald can give her that.”