Page 85 of Rescuing Dr. Marian
I glanced over at him. “Yeah?”
He shrugged. “The hike to set the target. The SAR exercise and medical response. Dinner with your family—I mean, not… not like that. I just meant dinner at the lodge. Where your family happened to be.”
I bit my lip against a smile. “It’s my family’s lodge.”
“Right.”
“And they were the only ones there.”
“Yes.”
“So… technically, you had dinner with my family, Foster.”
He nodded but didn’t take his eyes off the road. “And I already told you it was nice.”
“Fine,” I said, letting him off the hook. Suddenly, I was tired of the games. Tired of being the only one in this supposed “fling” who seemed to want to push past it like two grown adults, even if the solution wasn’t neat or easy.
I was tired of Foster getting moody instead of talking to me about his feelings. One day, he was cold as ice, putting up his “physical only” walls, and the next, he was holding me tight and telling me how much he missed me. Making fucking love to me like I was precious. Like he never wanted to let me go.
Maybe this was a sign. Maybe this was exactly what I needed to see before receiving the official offer and making my decision.
It was time to stop wishing Foster would fight for us when he’d told me all along he wasn’t interested in that.
“You’re right,” I said as he turned off the highway onto SERA’s gravel drive. “Long day. I’m exhausted.”
After he threw the SUV into Park, he turned to look at me. “Everything okay? Anything you want to talk about?”
I glanced at him, wondering if this was an opening to discuss my potential job offer. To ask his advice. To feel him out about the possibility of trying to make a long-distance relationship work.
The engine ticked quietly as I turned to face him. “If Matthew hadn’t cheated on you, would the two of you have ended up together?”
Foster’s eyebrows dipped in confusion. “Me and Matthew? What do you mean?”
“Were you in love with him? Would the two of you have ended up together?”
He tilted his head. “Those are two separate questions, Tommy.”
I shot him a look, forcing him to give me a real answer.
Foster sighed and sat back against the door. “Iwantedto love him. I wanted to settle down, have a partner I could come home to. Share my life with. I fantasized about the little things. Having a warm body waiting in my bed after a long shift. Spending lazy afternoons in front of a football game or getting up early for a hike in summer.”
He blew out a breath and forked his fingers through his hair. “My friends all have partners now, and I see them at the grocery store or grabbing a quick breakfast at the cafe before work. That’s what I wanted. The everyday companionship.”
“But Matthew moved to New York,” I said. “He wasn’t there with you. So that’s why you didn’t stay together?”
He met my eyes. “The only reason Matthew and I weretogether at all was because I was an idiot with more hope than practicality. He obviously needed something more. Something bigger. And I had no desire to hold him back or tie him down.”
My stomach dropped like a sack of bricks. I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Understood.”
We moved through our nightly routine by rote, slipping into our own beds automatically. Apparently, our sleeping arrangements were clearly defined based on the unspoken mood between us.
I slept fitfully—so fitfully that Chickie jumped up in my bed at one point and lay down on top of my chest, nuzzling her cold nose in my neck until I relaxed.
The next morning, I awoke to an empty cabin. Foster and Chickie were already gone, so I was able to shower and dress without walking on eggshells or, worse, staring at his body in a way that might lead to something physical.
I made my way to the dining room for breakfast, where Robyn cheerfully waved me over to a spot at her table. “Tommy! Over here. We’ve got room for you, and I wanted to ask you about today’s certification exam for your students.”
While she spoke, I picked out Foster’s and Trace’s voices as they entered the dining room from the direction of Trace’s office. Robyn must have seen me watching them because she glanced over and back to me. “Good news, I think. Foster has a lead on a new medical director for the program.”
