Page 37 of Rescuing Dr. Marian
I stared after him as his cold words washed over me. He sounded pissed. He sounded hurt.
Good, I told myself. This was good. It was better this way. Nothing left to do but focus on the job.
I couldn’t focusforshit.
The drill itself went off without a hitch. The “missing kayaker” was an instructor playing the role of a hypothermicvictim with a dislocated shoulder—challenging enough to test the students’ skills without being life-threatening.
But despite my earlier bitching at Tommy, this time,Iwas the one who was distracted as hell.
I kept finding my attention drawn to him as he worked with his medical team. His confidence as he gave instructions, the gentle manner he used with nervous students, the way his pants pulled tight across his ass when he bent to examine their “patient.” The way he calmed a panicked student who was second-guessing his own decisions with a reassuring “You’ve got this. Trust your training” that reminded me so much of the voice that had whispered my name in Hawaii.
At one point, he caught me staring and raised an eyebrow in accusation. The slight flare of his nostrils sent heat straight to my groin…
Professional, I reminded myself.Keep it professional.
Easier said than done when every cell in my body was hyperaware of Tommy’s presence.
“Sheriff Blake?” One of my students, a park ranger from Colorado named Marcus, was looking at me expectantly. “The lowering system?”
I blinked, realizing I’d completely zoned out while Marcus was asking about rope techniques. “Right. Sorry. Show me your anchor setup.”
I forced myself to focus for the rest of the drill, but by the time we loaded back onto the bus, my nerves were stretched tight as piano wire. The students were chattering excitedly about the day’s events, comparing notes and asking follow-up questions, but I barely heard them.
All I could think about was the coming evening, when Tommy and I would find ourselves alone again in the cabin.
Dinner in the dining hall had quickly become one of my favorite parts of the day at SERA—good food, easy conversation with fellow instructors and the students, and the satisfaction of a productive day. But tonight, it felt interminable. I sat at one end of the long table, picking at the grilled vegetables in front of me and trying not to stare at Tommy, who was deep in conversation with Robyn about the next day’s activities.
He laughed at something she said, the sound warm and genuine, and my chest tightened with an emotion I didn’t want to examine too closely.
“You planning to actually eat that or just move it around your plate?”
I looked up to find Trace studying me with knowing eyes. “What?”
“Your dinner. You’ve been pushing the same piece of carrot around for ten minutes.” He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “I sensed some tension out there today between you and the doc.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said automatically.
Trace lifted his eyebrows in surprise before tilting his head at me. “Right. I see.” He glanced down the table at Tommy, then back at me. “Look, I don’t care what you two do on your own time, but this tension is starting to affect the program. The students are picking up on it.”
My jaw clenched. “We’re handling it.”
“Are you?” Trace’s voice was quiet but firm. “Because fromwhere I’m sitting, it looks like you’re both coiled tighter than a rattlesnake. I can’t decide if you want to punch the guy or sleep with him. Figure your shit out, Foster, whichever one it is.”
Before I could respond, he stood and moved to the other end of the table, leaving me alone with my untouched dinner and his blunt assessment.
Figure your shit out.
The problem was, I didn’t know how.
I could hate Tommy Marian—okay, not really, but I could give a decent impression of it by acting cold and dickish.
I could fall for Tommy Marian in a heartbeat.
But one thing I didn’t know how to do, had never known how to do, was to be indifferent to the man.
My brain couldn’t comprehend the notion of liking him just a little. Of being friendly and casual with him like I was with the students and the other instructors. I didn’t know how to pretend he hadn’t rocked my world six months ago and left me reeling. That I didn’t want him still.
As I watched him laugh with the other instructors, saw the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and the genuine warmth in his smile, I felt my resolve to stay on guard cracking.
