Page 18 of Breaking the Alpha
Being alone never bothered her.Historically, alone was safer.Alone meant there were no angry voices, no threats, no one slamming doors or throwing dishes.Alone was synonymous with peace.Being alone brought internal strength and self-reliance and eliminated the chance of disappointment that hope and trust always carried.
And she was stronger alone, when she didn’t have to anticipate the reactions of others.It was easier to breathe, easier to think, easier to simplybe.It had taken her years to train herself out of jumping every time someone shouted anywhere close by and even longer to stop flinching in response to the most innocuous of raised arms.Peace was a foreign word to her throughout her childhood and teen years, so she clung to it now with everything inside her.
But there was a difference between being on-her-own alone and walking-around-at-night alone.She wasn’t a fan of this kind of alone, where she felt the need to scan the darkness as she sat in her car and locked the doors.Even as she backed out of her spot and drove through the lot, she felt uneasy.She did everything right, from the way she carried her keys between her fingers to how she monitored her surroundings and checked her back seat before she got into her car and locked it immediately.But she’d done everything right when she was little, too, and violence had still found her.
She was about to turn onto the road when movement from deep inside Serpent’s Tongue Ink caught her eye and she came to a stop.Her heart pounded in her chest as she reached into her purse, pulled out her phone, put her car in reverse, and inched back until she could get a better look.
With an exhale, she dropped her phone on the passenger seat once she saw River walk into the waiting room and toss a balled-up sweatshirt onto the short sofa.Realizing there was no break-and-enter going on, she shook her head with a smile and drove off.
*
The sound ofher door chimes usually made Angelina smile, but when River walked in for the fifth time in two weeks, she couldn’t muster up much more than a polite nod before she set Birch Baker’s latest jewelry order on the counter.
“You must be putting in a lot of hours to be going through so many pieces,” she said as she tallied the bill and tried to strike up enough casual conversation to keep the awkwardness to a minimum.“Half of Nebraska must be sporting new piercings by now.”
He was no more at ease today than he had been four days ago when he’d picked up the last order.Or the one before that.If anything, he seemed even more uncomfortable around her, and the thought that he not only wanted to forget their tryst but was now activelyregrettingit stung.She always tried her best to be friendly without overstepping, kept her tone light, and was quick to ring up the total, yet he continued to avoid eye contact.He’d just mutter a handful of cordial responses and give her tight smiles that looked more pained than anything.
Today was no different.He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged.“Busy enough.”
Deciding she was done taking the high road and playing nice, she crossed her arms and stared him down.“Is there a reason you put yourself—and, by extension, me—through this every few days?Some form of self-flagellation, perhaps?”
Now his green eyes were on hers.“What?”
“This,” she repeated as she gestured between them.“It would be just as easy for me to drop the orders off at the shop and leave the invoice for your brother, but instead you seem hellbent on coming in here every few days to destroy my zen with your sullen, cranky ass.”
His brows shot up.“Destroy your what?”
“My zen.My peace.Look around, River.This entire store screams calm and harmony and your vibe is messing it all up.”
For a moment, he looked almost devastated before a smirk crossed his face.“It screams calm?That doesn’t sound very relaxing.”
“You know what I mean.”
He didn’t reply for a long time, and she was starting to feel terribly for going at him so harshly, until he leaned on the counter and looked at her with that same hint of vulnerability that had drawn her to him all those weeks ago.“I’m sorry.Really, I am.Coming here is actually the highlight of my days right now, even if I act like a total dick the whole time.”He licked his lips and brushed a strand of stray hair out of his eyes she suddenly realized were bloodshot and ringed with dark circles.“If I promise to behave, can I have another chance to prove my vibe isn’t always so detrimental to your zen?”
Hearing the sincerity in his voice sealed it and she couldn’t help but smile.“Okay.But don’t blow it.”
He grabbed the box of jewelry and gave her a devastating grin.“I won’t.See you in a few days, Angel.”
Later that night, as she swung by her closed shop to retrieve her forgotten phone, she peeked into the Serpent’s Tongue window and there he was again, sprawled out on the small, two-person sofa with nothing but his hoodie for a blanket.She frowned, thinking back to earlier in the evening when she was locking up and saw River driving off.Birch had waved at him from the front door of Serpent’s Tongue and called out a reminder for River and Grey to save some pizza for him.
Something wasn’t adding up.
River had a place to go.A family.Yet here he was again, sleeping on a sofa two feet too short for him with no pillow and no blanket.She knew how rough those kinds of nights were on the mind and the body.Personal experience had her bones aching as she remembered the many long, sleepless hours spent in places not meant for rest but were still better than the alternative.
She needed to know why he felt that the comfort of his brother’s home was worse than sleeping in a tattoo parlor.
Chapter Eight
River moved hisempty coffee cup in small circles on top of the glass of the small wrought iron table while Angelina assisted a customer with the purchase of three bright silk scarves and a wooden jewelry box carved to look like a fairy house or princess cottage or some other magical micro-sized escape.
He was jittery, his knee bouncing and shaking the table, his nerves rattled.
After his promise to keep his bad vibes at bay, he’d avoided Wholly Yours and Angelina for three days.His body was sore from sleeping on the hard leather and metal couch in the Serpent’s Tongue waiting area.His mind was dull from exhaustion yet doing its best to race through the thoughts of everything he needed to deal with but hadn’t had the energy to face yet.His voice was gruff from the tension in his throat whenever he dared to peek at the social media storm thundering online.
And still, this place and this woman called to him until he couldn’t hold out any more.He needed to see her.Needed to feel the calm her presence provided with her mere proximity.It was easy to rationalize a visit when there were jewelry orders to pick up, but his stock was solid now.There was no purpose to his visit today other than his desire to be close to her.
And to check on her.
