Page 47 of Formula Freedom
When the release comes, it crashes over me like a tide, robbing me of my breath as I drown in ecstasy. Reid follows, a groan buried in my neck, his body tight against mine as he falls with me.
After, we lie tangled in the sheets, breathless and dazed. His thumb brushes circles over my hip. My head rests on his chest, listening to the steady beat beneath my ear.
Neither of us speaks for a long time.
Eventually, he kisses the top of my head. “Still not a dream.”
I smile, pressing a kiss to his chest. “I’m liking this reality.”
Silence envelops us and my mind starts whirring. We haven’t moved. Not really. Just shifted enough to breathe easier. One of his legs is still entwined with mine, his fingers lazily stroking my forearm.
I stare at the rise and fall of his chest, my voice barely a whisper. “Do you think less of me?”
His hand pauses. “What?”
I try to push away the guilt. “For jumping from Lance to you so fast. It’s barely been a week. Hell, less than that.” I close my eyes, the sting of shame creeping in. “I’m one of those women people whisper about. Like I couldn’t be alone for five seconds, so I just fell into the next guy’s bed.”
Reid shifts to roll to his side and face me fully. His hand grips my jaw, forcing me to hold his gaze.
“Lara,” he says softly, “you didn’t fall into anything. You made a choice.”
“I just feel…” I swallow. “Gross. Like I should’ve had more time to—I don’t know—process, or grieve, or whatever the hell people do after ending an engagement. Not this.”
His brow furrows. “You didn’t leave Lance for me. You left Lance for you. For your safety. Your sanity. You chose to get out of something that was slowly breaking you down. That’s not shameful. That’s brave.”
“But still,” I whisper. “This happened so fast… you and me.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “No, it didn’t. It started when we kissed at fifteen, and it bloomed again after we had sex that one time. You and me? We’ve been a long time coming.”
I blink at him.
He continues. “We’ve had years of history building up to this moment. Years of looks and laughs and something we never touched because the timing was always shit. But not anymore. And I’m not going to pretend this is wrong just because you had to make a hard, necessary exit from something toxic.”
My throat tightens. “But don’t you think people will judge me?”
“I don’t know,” he says truthfully, and it’s not the answer I wanted. “You’re not theirs to define, so you can’t worry about those things.”
I let out a slow breath, my chest loosening a little, but I’m still frustrated. “You really don’t see it as me… rebounding?”
Reid leans in, kisses the center of my forehead. “No. I see it as you finally choosing what’s right for you. And I see it as me finally being lucky enough that our timing lined up and that I’m smart enough not to let a good thing go again.”
His words settle deep, a balm to my chaotic thoughts.
“I don’t want to feel icky about this,” I murmur. “I just… I don’t want to think I’m doing something wrong by being happy.”
“Then don’t,” he says gently. “There’s nothing wrong about this. Not for me. And not for you. And frankly, no one else matters.”
“Lance matters,” I whisper, and Reid’s eyes narrow slightly. “I mean… this is going to devastate him. When he finds out we’re together.”
“Good,” he growls. “I hope it fucking hurts bad, and I hope it hurts every time he sees us together. I hope the pain never dulls. That fucker deserves it.”
“Reid,” I admonish. “He’s your brother.”
“He hit you,” he grits out. “He gets no pass from me on that. Not now, not ever.”
I don’t argue with him because it’s still very raw for Reid. It is for me too, but I know I’ll forgive Lance. I know I’ll move on, and I won’t hold a grudge. I’ll be grateful for what we had, but I also know that what I have is the future that is meant for me. I can’t harbor bad feelings when I know my happiness is only going to grow from here.
Reid cups the back of my head and presses his lips to my forehead. “I’m going to get some water. Want some?”
