Page 34 of Formula Freedom
I tilt my head to look up at him. “Why more than you should?”
His eyes find mine. There’s no defensiveness there. Just honesty.
“I was scared,” he admits. “Of messing it up. Of dragging you into something while I was still trying to prove myself in racing. I didn’t want to be that guy—half in, half out. You deserved more than that, Lara, and I wasn’t the guy for you.”
I study him, the shape of his face, the quiet strength in his voice.
“And now?” I ask, softer this time.
He shifts slightly, turning so we’re face-to-face on the pillow. “Now I’m not scared ofyou. I’m scared of how fast this is happening. Of what it might cost you.”
That lands deep.
Because I’m scared too.
Not of him. Never of him.
But of what the world will say. Of what our families will think. Of what happens when Lance finds out.
“I don’t want to be ashamed of this,” I whisper. “But I also don’t know how to explain it to anyone else. It’s too soon. Too… raw.”
His fingers thread through mine under the covers. “Then we don’t. We keep this between us. Just for now.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“I’m okay with whatever gives you a sense of safety.”
That single sentence breaks something open in me. Not with pain—but relief.
I nod slowly, biting my lip. “Thank you.”
He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead, and I close my eyes for a moment, sinking into the calm he gives me.
But then another thought crawls forward.
“I’m not using you,” I say. “I know it might look that way—like I ran from one man to another. But that’s not what this is.”
“I know it’s not,” Reid says instantly. “You came to me for help, not forthis. What happened between us tonight wasn’t about Lance. It wasn’t about escaping. It was aboutusand what has always been between us.”
My throat tightens, and I roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m still sorting myself out. I don’t know who I am outside of all this yet.”
He shifts beside me, then reaches over and links our fingers again. “You don’t have to figure it all out tonight. I’m not going anywhere. There’s no timeline.”
We fall into silence again, but this one is warmer. Easier.
Still, one last worry tugs at the edge of my thoughts.
“What about Lance?” I ask. “Eventually, he’s going to find out. And if he finds out too soon, it’ll just… I don’t know. Ignite something.”
Reid’s voice turns hard. “Let him ignite it.”
I shake my head. “No. Not yet. He still has too much proximity to both of us—to our families. I need things to settle before I can deal with that blowback.”
He lets out a slow breath. “Okay. We keep it quiet.”
“But I don’t want to pretend when we’re alone,” I add quickly. “I just need to… work this out slowly.”
Reid leans over, his lips brushing my temple. “Then we do it your way. As slow as you need.”
