Page 23 of Formula Freedom
Reid leans back, resting his head on the cushion and staring at the ceiling. “He was just… there. Said he wanted to talk about you but then he started blaming you.”
I can’t help the whimper of distress that comes out of my mouth.
Reid’s head rolls my way, his eyes narrowed. “I shut that shit down. Told him don’t ever blame you and to stay the fuck away.”
“And he accepted that?” I ask hopefully.
“Not quite. He then turned it on me. Said I was pissed because he got you and I didn’t.”
“Oh,” I murmur but immediately dismiss that accusation. Reid doesn’t want me like that. “What happened next?”
“I almost punched him, but Carlos pulled me back.”
I settle into the cushion beside Reid. “At least we know he’s still in Melbourne,” I say.
“Yeah,” Reid mutters. “But I don’t think he’s going to walk away from you without trying to get you back.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “He texted me several times today. No threats. Just apologies. Promises to do better. To change.”
Reid’s gaze sharpens. “Are you entertaining any of it?”
The question isn’t accusatory. It’s careful. Protective.
I bark a bitter laugh. “No. God, no. He hit me and I’ll never give him another chance.” Reid studies me, silent, waiting for more. I push my hair off my forehead and exhale. “I stayed too long. I knew it. I regretted it for months. I was done with that relationship long before he smacked me. But our families are so close, and I didn’t know how to end it without hurting everyone.”
“You wouldn’t have hurt anyone,” Reid says gently. “Only Lance. Did he have any clue you were thinking of breaking it off?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I mean… I just sort of fell in line and kept my mouth shut most of the time so he wouldn’t be provoked. I was trying to come up with a good exit plan, but I just couldn’t figure it out.”
“I don’t know how you did it,” he says and then nudges my shoulder. “I mean… you were playing a game. Acting to keep the peace until you could figure a way out.”
“It was hard, especially as he got more controlling and verbally abusive. And… we weren’t even intimate anymore. He didn’t seem to care, so that was a relief.”
Reid’s eyebrows lift slightly, and my cheeks flame hot that I just said that.
I give him a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry if that was too much information. I mean… especially since we…”
The words trail off. Reid and I had our chance but it didn’t work, and I should have never mentioned anything about such private moments between Lance and me.
“It’s okay,” he says, reaching over and taking my hand. “I’m a big boy and I know exactly what I lost when you started dating my brother.”
I know what I lost too, because try as I might to love Lance the way I did Reid at one time, it never reached that level of complete and total adoration. Nothing was as good… the affection, the talks, the sex. But I keep that to myself.
“I couldn’t stand it,” I say instead. “Finding out he was cheating almost felt like relief. Like I finally had an excuse strong enough to leave without the guilt.”
A wave of shame burns through me, but Reid squeezes my hand, warm and steady. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” he says. “You were surviving.”
I blink rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“You’re free now, Lara.”
I nod, breathing through the tightness in my chest.
After a long moment, Reid releases my hand and once again laces his over his stomach. A small smile plays on his lips. “Remember when survival was just trying not to get dunked off a surfboard?”
I snort. “Or trying not to get caught when we snuck in after curfew.”
“Pretty sure our parents knew,” he says, mock serious.
