Page 35 of Royal Beast
But it felt good to let go for once. Really good.
I glance at the clock. It’s already late. I need to start getting ready for work.
I drag myself through the morning, my thoughts and energy scattered, and I struggle to focus. The hum of the office, the ringing phones, the clicking of keyboards… it all feels too loud, too overwhelming. It’s hard to keep my head in the game when my body feels like it’s running on empty. The events of the past week, especially the way I’ve been pulled deeper into Kellan’s world, weigh heavily on me.
Thankfully, Miranda seems to notice the shift. She’s sharp, always has been. When I walk into the break room, she’s standing there, leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand, watching me with a concerned look in her eyes.
“Hey, you okay?” she asks, her voice soft but direct. “You look wiped.”
I force a smile and it feels fragile. “Yeah, just not enough coffee this morning.”
Miranda raises a skeptical eyebrow, not buying it for a second. She knows me too well. “You don’t take time off unless something serious is going on. You wanna talk about it?”
I hesitate, glancing around the office to make sure no one is eavesdropping. The walls feel like they’re closing in, but I know I need to talk to someone. Someone who won’t judge me. Someone who knows what it’s like to juggle a thousand things and feel like you’re on the edge of falling apart.
“I… yeah,” I say, the words escaping before I can second-guess them. “Can we go to your office?”
She nods, leading the way, and I follow her into the small haven she’s made of her space. It’s quiet here, away from the chaos of the rest of the office. Miranda pulls a couple of chairs in front of her desk, motioning for me to sit as she grabs us both a bottle of water.
“So, what’s going on? You barely said a word about why you were taking time off,” she asks, settling into her chair, her eyes never leaving me.
I open my mouth but nothing comes out. How do I even begin to explain all of this? I never thought I’d be sitting here, telling anyone about Kellan or my marriage, certainly not the mess I’ve gotten myself into. But Miranda’s my friend. She’s always had my back, even when I didn’t deserve it.
I take a deep breath. “Okay, here it is. I… I married Kellan Brannagan.”
Miranda’s eyes widen. “Wait, you didwhat?”
I nod, trying to ignore the way her gaze morphs as if she can see right through me. “Yeah. It was a hasty decision, to say the least. My father’s debts were piling up, as you know, and Kellan’s family is… well, they have the money to help. But it wasn’t just about the money. He offered me a way out. A way to protect Rose.”
Miranda leans back in her chair, the concern on her face now replaced with something more guarded. “So you married him for Rose’s sake?”
“Partly,” I admit, twisting my hands in my lap. “I thought I could handle it, that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But moving in with him, it’s been so overwhelming. He’s intense, Miranda. And there’s a lot of tension between us.”
Miranda raises an eyebrow, clearly sensing where I’m going with this. “Tension?”
I grimace, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah. There’ve been some intense moments. Like last night. I was so angry at him, and I don’t know what came over me, but we ended up in bed together.” I feel the heat creeping up my neck but I push through it. “I’m not sure how I feel about it. It was amazing, but I’m not sure I can handle what comes next.”
She doesn’t speak, just watches me, her expression thoughtful.
I bite my lip, not sure what else to say. The truth is, I don’t know what to think. I feel trapped, but I can’t ignore thepull between Kellan and me. Even after everything—after how difficult he’s been, how dangerous his life is—I can’t shake this need for him. And I hate it.
“I don’t know, Miranda,” I admit quietly. “I never wanted any of this. But it’s happening. I agreed to it. And I don’t know if I can just walk away anymore. Especially after the incident at the mall.”
Her eyes widen at the mention of an incident, and she sits up straighter, clearly alarmed but trying to keep it under control. “What happened at the mall?”
I lower my voice. “It’s nothing. Just a little trouble that happened there. But Kellan saved us. That’s all I can say. I don’t want you getting mixed up in any of it.”
Miranda seems to understand, nodding slowly, processing everything I’ve said. “So, what is it that you do want?”
“I don’t know,” I say, looking down at my hands. “I’m all over the place. One minute, Kellan and I can’t stand to be in the same room, and the next, we’re falling into bed together. It’s all so confusing.”
Miranda’s gaze hardens slightly, frustration entering her voice. “You’re making this harder than it has to be. You can handle it. You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for. You just need to find that inner strength again.”
She sits back, crossing her arms. “You’re not the same woman who walked into my office years ago, afraid of her own shadow. You’ve been through worse, Darcy. You survived things that should’ve broken you. This is just another challenge you can rise above. You’ve got the strength in you, I know you do. You just have to dig deep and find it.”
I stare at her, the fire in her words hitting me in a place I’d forgotten about. There was a time when I would’ve taken on the world with nothing but my will and the belief that I could handle anything. Somewhere along the way, I’ve let that vivacity slip.But Miranda’s right. I’ve been through hell, and I can survive this if I allow myself to believe it.
“Thanks, Miranda,” I say quietly, offering her a weak smile. “I needed to hear that.”
