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I take a deep breath. “Well, actually, sweetheart, heishere.”

His eyes widen with shock. “My dad is here?”

“He is. Would you like to meet him?”

“Yes!” My son jumps up and pumps his fist into the air in excitement. I look up and see Carter waiting out on a terrace, the breeze fluttering across his gray shirt and slacks. He smiles nervously, and I give him a subtle nod.

“Matty,” I say as Carter approaches, gently pulling my son back. “This is your dad.”

Matty’s head whips around, and he gasps in genuine surprise. “Carter?”

“Hey, kiddo.”

“You’re my dad?”

Carter stops in front of us, hands in his pockets as he carefully measures his response.

“Is that okay with you?” Carter asks Matty.

Our boy springs to his feet and hugs Carter’s leg with pure joy and excitement. “Yes! That’s okay with me!”

I can’t help but laugh.

Carter chuckles and scoops Matty up in his arms. For a moment, I actually allow myself to believe this might work out.

I dare let hope slither back into my heart as I watch Carter and Matty bond and get reacquainted with one another as father and son. Matty was already comfortable and practically glued to Carter since day one, so their relationship is only bound to get better, if they go on like this.

But as long as Bill Lockwood is around, as long as I know what happened that night, there’s always going to be doubt lingering in the back of my head, an ugly shadow that I fear I may not be able to contain much longer. And Jace’s increasing pressure on the matter only makes it harder.

“Are you going to live with us?” Matty asks Carter at one point.

We’re back to finishing our sandwiches, while Carter pops a grape into his mouth. Matty’s smile seems happier, his eyes brighter.

“Sometime soon, we’re all going to live together. I just need to handle a few more things before that happens.”

“Yeah, me too,” Matty replies with a soft pout.

I give him a curious look, ignoring the ball of nausea quickly unfurling in the back of my throat. “What do you mean, honey?”

“My heart; we need to fix it.”

“We’ll do that,” Carter says, then glances up at me. “You don’t need to wait for Stephan’s trust fund to come in. We can take him to my family’s clinic, and we can?—”

“I don’t want your family anywhere near us,” I cut him off.

My words leave Carter speechless and me surprised. It is such a visceral reaction, the queasiness swells and turns my stomach inside out.

“Clara, what’s going on?” he asks.

“Momma, do you have a code blue? You’re so white,” Matty says.

“Carter, can you watch him for a moment? The inhaler is in my purse, if he needs it,” I manage and get up from the bench. “Matty, honey, I’ll be right back. I’m okay.”

Before Carter can react, I’m back inside the mansion, desperately looking for the nearest bathroom so I can puke my guts out. My stomach churns. My throat burns.

I splash my face with cold water and rinse my mouth out. I look at myself in the mirror realizing how awful and pale I look. What in the hell has come over me?

“Oh, shit,” I whisper as a sudden thought grabs me.