Page 78 of Resting Grump Face
For a moment, Ryker’s kiss makes me forget all about the very real problem of us all being homeless soon.
At least until his lips pull back and start to speak. “It’ll be fine,” he says like someone who never had a problem that couldn’t be solved with enough money. “I’ll have my guys contact you and they will give you free legal counsel. We’ll figure this out. I will not allow my best employee…” Ryker stops for a second to think. “I will not allow myfavoriteemployee to be without a roof over her perfect little head.”
Guy’s drawn out ‘Ohhh’ is interrupted by Robyn’s ‘Gluteus maximus osculator’.
“That’s Latin for butt kisser,” she explains. “Are we still on for tonight though?”
Ryker laughs as he slips into his jacket. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” One last wink in my direction and he is gone.
I look at Robyn questioningly.What could she be doing with My Mr. Grayson?
“Knitwits meeting today. We’re making more beanies for the kindergarten across the street,” Paige explains before I can ask.
“You two will be making beanies,” Robyn interjects. “I’ll be busy making cocktails and asking intruding questions.”
“Oh, okay, that’s great,” I say and step out of my apartment to grab the ball of paper I threw out earlier. “But what do we do now? Says here we have two weeks. That must be a mistake, right? Aren’t there laws that give us more time?”
“Not if the building is unsafe to reside in,” Earnest says and pulls a folder from behind his back.
“Did you hide that in your pants?” Guy asks, trying to figure out where it came from.
“Yes, almost forgot about it with all the moaning and howling.”
Guy nods understandingly.
“No one was howling, okay?” I say and reach for the folder. The Harmony Inc. logo is printed on the first page.
“I was hoping this wouldn’t happen,” Earnest explains matter of fact. “I kept on digging after that rapscallion made his affair public, worried we might need something even more condemning than just another affair to save Robyn. And then I found this.”
I sift through the folder in my hands which contains internal documents about Harmony’s numerous retirement homes, lists of inhabitants, financial statements including revenue and expenses, and even internal communiques about which branch they are planning on closing next.
“None of it is technically illegal, but what I gather from these documents is that this is their M.O.,” Earnest continues. “They try to get rid of their longtime residents first because many of them still have leases that don’t expire, which means they are more expensive to buy out of their contracts. Then they threaten eviction for everyone else to get rid of as many people as possible, which then makes it easier, or at least cheaper, to pay off the ones that stay. All the while, they run down the buildings.That way people are more incentivized to take a little pay-off and move somewhere else. Of course, with how the housing market is right now, that pay-off doesn’t go very far, but for many people, fighting a legal battle against a company like that is not an option anyway. Once they get rid of all the residents, they sell to the highest bidder who then gentrifies the neighborhood, builds a shopping mall, office buildings, casinos, whathaveyou. A similar facility sold two years ago for tens of millions of dollars.”
“But our building isn’t even unsafe,” Guy scratches his temple. “We do all the upkeep ourselves. I had my cousin renew the electrical panels for the east wing just last fall. And if it was unsafe, shouldn’t we have to move, as in, immediately?”
“That’s what’s curious about this. Usually they don’t threaten eviction until all the old contracts are gone either. I assume they must have a buyer lined up already, or Dicky is strapped for cash, and they are therefore accelerating their plan. I talked to Paul, and he didn’t know anything about an inspection that could have resulted in an official evaluation like the one in the folder. So I’m thinking they use some of their profits to bribe their way into false evaluations and evictions and, along with it, more profits.”
“Alright,” Robyn says with confidence, slaps the table, and I already don’t like where this is going. “It’s obvious what we need to do, no?”
Guy nods enthusiastically, Paige adjusts her glasses, releases a little sigh and nods as well, Earnest looks at me and nods once with conviction, which is probably supposed to overrule my oncoming objection.
“I will do it alone,” I say. “You guys can’t get involved.”
“We are already involved, Sienna,” Robyn counters, and picks up a bottle of gin from my tiny shelf.
“He might expect us to spy on him,” I interject. “We already did this once. We don’t have the element of surprise on our side this time. It might be dangerous.”
Robyn shakes her head. “Who is talking about spying on him? We obviously need to kidnap him and scare him into not going through with his plan.”
“Robyn!” I try to shut her down but look at three bobbing heads who already seem way too on board with that ludicrous idea. “We can’t kidnap a real-life human being! We haven’t even talked with Ryker’s lawyers yet. I’m sure there are other options that we can explore.”
“It’ll be fine,” Guy tries to convince me. “We just need to follow rule #3. Do not get caught.”
“No, no, no, no, no, no…”
The four bobbleheads keep bobbing.
“Sienna, you know this is the only way.”
