Page 80 of Puck My Stepbrother
“They are. I mean, they were…God, I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
I didn’t know what I was saying, partly because I didn’t know if I truly had a problem yet. We’d reached the day of the wedding, and I hadn’t heard from Jeff yet. Even when I’d been falling into Levi’s arms, Jeff and I had texted one another nonstop.
Even at ten in the morning, I’d heard nothing, despite texting him several times. But it wasn’t completely sudden. Communication from him had really tapered off during the last week. You know, ever since we’d made love on the couch…and since I’d rubbed the whole thing in Levi’s face.
He’d attended the rehearsal dinner last night, but I’d noticed something off about him. He’d seemed really quiet when he was normally so talkative with everyone. Worse, he seemed quiet around me, too.
All of that could’ve been a coincidence, sure, but I didn’t feel certain of that.
“I haven’t heard anything from him yet,” I said. “Like, radio silence. I can’t help feeling like there’s something wrong.”
“Don’t you think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself? It’s morning. The wedding isn’t until later this afternoon.”
“Yeah, but we’re both getting dressed up now.”
Dad half-smiled in a father-knows-best sort of way.
“It’s different for us,” he said. “You know that.”
“I guess so. I’m sorry to get on that topic.”
“It’s no trouble, Quinn. Now, do you think you two have been communicating enough in general?”
“What do you mean?”
“I guess I’m asking if you two are on the same page. Is he looking for more of a commitment than you’ve made to him? Is he getting mixed signals?”
Dad had me there. I couldn’t deny that I’d taken my sweet time with the guy. Anyone else would’ve given up on me by now.
“I don’t know exactly what he’s looking for,” I said. “We talked about getting together—you know, exclusively—but we’ve mostly been going with the flow.”
“That could be the problem, you know. You’re both grown-up and partway through college. Never hurts to consider the long game.”
Memories of our entire relationship came flooding back. Sure, Jeff had shown a ton of patience in terms of moving to the next stage, especially when it came to having sex. For a moment, I wondered if the sex itself had been the real problem. I’d finally put out for him, and he’d wound up disappointed. I hadn’t been worth the wait. I hated to consider that, but I couldn’t deny the possibility.
“I think he wants to get married one day,” I said.
“And you don’t want to?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But maybe he thinks you feel that way.”
“Maybe.”
“Or maybe he thinks you’re focusing your attention elsewhere.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, that was the trouble with your mother and me, at least in the beginning. Sure, she’d go out with me and we’d have agreat time, but I sometimes had the distinct feeling she’d rather be with someone else.”
“Like who?”
“Oh, I didn’t know that there was anyone at all. It was just a feeling I had. Now, I had my share of insecurities, so it probably came from that.”
“That makes sense.”
Dad’s words made me feel at least a little better, but I doubted I’d hold on to that feeling for long.
