Page 51 of Puck My Stepbrother
“You still wanted me.”
“Yeah, I did, but…”
Before, my attraction to him had only been physical—or so I thought. I’d still lusted for him even after we’d moved into the house, but I’d hated it. I’d tried to strike those feelings down. Now, I couldn’t help thinking that my attraction extended beyond the physical.
But that couldn’t be right. It was impossible.
“Are you really saying you don’t want me as much as I want you?” he asked.
“I don’t know…”
Levi’s question had no correct answer. Anything I said he would twist beyond recognition and use against me. So why bother saying anything?
My resolve had cracked. Not only had I stopped fighting, but I’d almost given myself to Levi. The more control I lost, the more I thought of Jeff. He was the perfect guy for me. He checked off all the boxes. He was beautiful. I could easily spend the rest of my life with someone like him.
But I was sinking deeper and deeper into this waking dream with Levi. I clung to Jeff’s image, honestly expecting it to anchor me in reality. But I couldn’t deny that nothing compared to Levi’s hulking arms wrapped around me. And I would never rest my head on a chest as powerful as that of my stepbrother-to-be.
I lifted my head and gazed into Levi’s eyes, unafraid of the consequences. As expected, I felt entranced now, an experience far deeper than any daydream. I leaned in and kissed his lips, slowly and gently. My nose rubbed against his, and I felt his sandpaper-like beard scratch against my face. The kiss felt different from the others we’d shared. It was slow and deliberate, the affection of longtime lovers, instead of hot and passionate.
And then we kissed once more. I turned over so my chest pressed against his. My pelvis brushed against his crotch, where I felt Levi growing hard. I couldn’t blame him for it, especially since I found myself getting my own erection. I remembered how things had gone down the last time, and understood how badly I wanted it again. Letting go sounded like the most magnificent thing on Earth. And then the image of Jeff’s face pushed into my mind again.
I tore my lips away from Levi’s.
“Hold on, I’m sorry,” I said.
I backed away, but Levi didn’t look deterred. He must’ve assumed he’d get what he wanted once I came to my senses. After all, I’d initiated this myself.
He opened his arms, ready to welcome me into his embrace.
“I can’t do this.” I pushed myself up, hopped off the couch, and peered down at the bulge in my jeans.
“Of course you can, bro. You’ve done it before.”
“No, I mean I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”
I darted out of the room before he could say anything more. God, I felt like such a tease. Part of me really wanted to take the next step with Levi, even though all logic told me it was wrong.
Have you heard of anyone telling their heart to shut up?
20
LEVI
“Do you have your head up your ass or something?” Ryan Detenbeck asked me in the locker room after practice.
I ignored him at first, mostly because that sounded like a perfectly normal question. You know, if you play for the Larkin Lions. Something about his tone struck me as different from the other times he or my other teammates had asked that. I only gave him the time of day because the dope was standing there staring at me.
“Of course I don’t,” I said. “Why would you say that?”
“You were distracted out there.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Don’t tell me that, dude. You were totally in la-la land. You weren’t playing like your normal self—the guy that goes out there ready to bite people’s heads off. No disrespect, bro, but this is getting kinda normal for you.”
Normally, a comment like that would’ve fired me up. You can’t let guys challenge your work ethic or your toughness; I don’t care if they’re a teammate or His Holiness the Pope. The moment they do, you should deliver a knuckle sandwich straightto their mouth. But I didn’t feel fired up. I didn’t even ball my hand into a fist.
I stared down at my phone, which I’d never had a problem with before. Now I felt addicted to it, but at least I understood why. I scrolled through Quinn’s Facebook profile. I’d never actually friended him on the platform. I knew he would’ve made a big deal out of that. He didn’t have many photos, but I wanted to admire the ones he’d posted for as long as possible.
