Page 14 of Puck My Stepbrother
“So, when did you know you were gay?” I asked.
“Huh?”
“Honest question. You told me you were gay yesterday. Got me thinking a little. Just wondered when you knew.”
He paused as if unsure which answer to give: the honest one, a half-truth, or something completely made up.
“Young.”
And he left it at that.
“How young is young?” I asked. “Like, sophomore year in high school? Freshman year?”
“You really never knew?”
I shook my head. “Nope. Not until you mentioned it yesterday.”
That wasn’t completely true, but it didn’t matter. I’d had some idea that he was gay when we were in school together. For the most part, that idea came from dumb jokes people made (although I’d been responsible for most of those cracks), but I’d never known for sure if he really was. But then his hard-on from seeing me in a towel confirmed it. The books I’d found in his room were nothing compared to that raging erection.
“If you really want to know,” he said, “I knew in elementary school. You know, if you want to get technical.”
“Technical about what?”
“Technical about when I knew, not when I came out. I didn’t even come out to myself until long after I knew about it. I noticed boys from a very early age and never looked at girls that way. But I wouldn’t have used a term like ‘gay.’ At least not back then.”
“Then what did you call it?”
“I didn’t call it anything. It just was what it was.”
I paused for a moment, admiring his profile and the freckles on his cheek. My stepbrother-to-be looked great from any angle. I knew it didn’t make a lot of sense. You know what I mean. I was a big, muscular hockey player. If I liked guys, you’d expect me to take interest in guys who looked and acted like me. I shouldn’t have felt so powerfully drawn to someone who looked and acted like Quinn.
But I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop looking at him, either. I found Quinn so beautiful, so sexy, so…
Time to go for it. I could inch up even closer to him than in his room and rest a hand on his leg. If he had a hard-on again, I could slip my hand over it and squeeze. And he would moan with pleasure. No way on Earth would he not react to that.
So I scooted up beside him, leaving almost zero space between us. He didn’t back away, which I took as a good sign. I wanted him to feel hot and tense first. I would wait until exactly the right moment to put my hand on his leg.
“By the time I was in high school,” he said, “I knew for sure. Like, I could put a label on it. I knew I liked guys and only guys. I was gay. That was the only word I could use.”
“How did your dad take it?”
“Fine, I guess. He didn’t get mad, didn’t seem bothered or disappointed. He supported me, but he didn’t understand. I guess that’s normal for people who aren’t in the same boat with you.”
I nodded, showing him that I understood and was totally cool with him. Of course, I had yet to clue him in on my own secrets. That would come in due time.
“Hey, did you have crushes on anyone in school?” I asked.
He froze like I’d just caught him robbing a bank.
“You can tell me. Some really good-looking guy must’ve caught your eye.”
He shrugged.
“What about Josh Rotunda? Everyone had a crush on him. The girls, I mean, so I guess the gay guys probably did, too.”
Quinn tried his best to return to his notebook so I’d back off from that topic.
“What about boyfriends?” I asked.
