Page 64 of Puck My Stepbrother
I’d thought he’d just been playing a game with me before. Women did the hard-to-get act all the time. The guys I’d been with had always been about getting down to business, but that business had always been sex.
It was never about love.
Oh God, did I really just think that word?
Yes, I had. The feeling was brand new to me, but I could still identify it.
Detenbeck stared at me like I was completely out to lunch.
“Okay, let’s cut the shit,” the goalie said. “What is this really about?”
I drew a deep breath and forced it out hard. I decided answering him might make me feel better.
“You asked me before if this was about a woman.”
“Yeah.”
“And I tap-danced around the topic.”
“Yeah, I guess you did.”
“What if I told you that you were more or less in the right ballpark?”
“Great, but being right won’t help now that we’ve dug ourselves into a hole. Sorry, I mean, now thatyou’vedug a hole for us.”
Normally, I would’ve fired back with something that would pass for wit in a hockey locker room. Now I couldn’t. I wanted to tell Ryan Detenbeck about what’d been going on between Quinn and me, but that felt impossible.
Maybe Quinn was right. He’d told me that being with him meant being open about our relationship with everyone. Worse, he’d told me I wasn’t capable of it. Of course, I thought he was being stupid, mostly because this was just another way for him to further his game of hard to get.
When I looked at Ryan Detenbeck, I realized that Quinn had a point. I couldn’t do it. And if I couldn’t change that, then Quinn Standish would forever be off-limits. We’d have a look-but-don’t-touch relationship. As you know, I’d already done plenty of touching, but you get the point. I’d never achieve the ultimate prize.
“You look like you’ve got something you want to tell me,” Detenbeck said. “Don’t tell me it’s nothing. It isn’t just something that’s changed about you. I can see it in your eyes.”
“I’m in love.”
There, I said it.
Saying the words alone felt so freeing, like a weight lifted from my shoulders…and my chest. Deep down, love was at the root of all this. I was in love with Quinn Standish, and I wanted to be with him. I sure as hell couldn’t let him wind up with another guy. But if I said any more than I already had, Detenbeck would demand some serious answers.
“I figured,” he said.
“What, seriously?”
“Sure, bro. I know the look.”
“But guys like me don’t give that look.”
“Too late. You’ve already done it. Besides, there’s no shame in it.”
“There isn’t?”
“Of course not. Same thing’s happened to me.”
“Yeah, but that’s different. You’re a cream puff.”
He sputtered like he knew I was just talking shit. And he would’ve totally been right about that. Telling him that I was in love with Quinn Standish hung on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t say it.
“There was this girl last season,” he said. “She was more than just a hookup, you know? I thought maybe I could really have something with her. Fuck, we were falling for each other so fast.”
