Page 97 of The Now in Forever
“Hattie, I needed to talk to?—”
I hold up my hand. “I get it. A meeting. I need some coffee.” I can’t believe he took a meeting, now, at the hospital.Although I did just talk to an agent. Holy shit. Did I really just talk to an agent?
“Wait, Hattie.”
I would like some time to focus on the bookstore?and on editing this book without constantly thinking about Ed.
I’m so tired.
“I’m going to get a Starbucks across the street. You’re welcome to come.”
He nods. We order our drinks and take them to a small table by the window. We sit in silence. It’s not uncomfortable, per se, but it doesn’t feel cozy either.
“It wasn’t a meeting. My mom texted.”
“Oh.” My stomach drops. I’m such a dick. Why do I always assume the worst? “That’s cool.”
He sighs. “Yeah. I had to call her. She just needs money. Same old, same old. When I told her I wasn’t sure, she went off on me. Ungrateful. You’d be nothing without me. Same old shit.”
I reach across the table, placing my hand on his forearm. “I’m so sorry.”
He places his hand over mine, and my heart races. The truth of Mandy’s words ring through me. My heart belongs to Ed.
Even if we can never make it work, I love this man.
“Hattie, I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have blocked yournumber. It was just too hard not to text you. And I shouldn’t have let you walk away. Once I got Nathan to tell me where you were staying, I thought about holding a boom box up to your window. But I wasn’t sure which room you were in.”
I laugh. “I’m sure the staff would’ve loved that.”
“I’m sorry I fucked up.”
I purse my lips. “We.Wefucked it up.” My heart beats faster, but I still feel hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re moving?”
“When? I wasn’t supposed to text you. I didn’t want to lead with that after not seeing you for a month. When were you going to tell me about the bookstore?”
“I tried calling. And I’m the one who came to visit you. I’m always?—”
“We’re going in circles.” He sighs. “When you came to LA, I was excited to see you. But—all cards on the table—I’m underwater on the screenwriting stuff. Things change and move so quickly. With writing, I much more amull things over for a couple weekskind of guy. But this movie stuff is lightning speed. I’m struggling to keep up. Maybe it’s just the way this director works, but it’s terrifying. I’m scared I’m going to fail, in a massive, public way, and that it won’t only affect my future career adapting my books but my actual writing career as well. This is all I have. I’m a gutter punk skateboard kid who loves to make up stories. I have no other skills. I can’t fuck this up. I was excited to see you but also surprised and overwhelmed.
If I could go back, I would swoop you up in my arms the moment I saw you in the coffee shop. And I wouldn’t have agreed to not talking for a month.”
“That was stupid of me.”
“I get it, though. I understand not wanting to wait for me to text. I remember you had that boyfriend in high school…”
I nod.
“I’m sorry you didn’t get your bookstore.”
There’s more sadness in my heart than joy, but I smile anyway. “It’s not mine.”
He lets out a long breath. “I wish we would’ve talked about all this more.”
I check the time. “I should get back to my grandma. Maybe we can talk more after her surgery?”
He frowns. “I have to head back. My flight to LA leaves tonight.”
“Tonight?” My shoulders slump. If I’d known how little time we had, I would’ve talked in the car, but I was so worried about Grandma, I wouldn’t have been able to focus. “How will you get back?”
