Page 91 of The Now in Forever
We close the distance. He puts his arms around me, and our lips meet. It’s a soft kiss. A kiss very appropriate for the public space we are in. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want more. I want him to lean me against this driftwood horse and run his hands down my body. Audience and art be damned.
He pulls back first. “Ready to meet some people?”
I’m not. I can’t even remember why this party felt so important to me at the beginning of summer. I can find an agent on my own. Itdoesn’t even seem as important anymore. Now that the bookstore isn’t possible, it’s all I want in the world. Ed grabs my hand and squeezes. The motion goes straight to my heart. Maybe not the only thing I want.
I want to take Ed to my funky hotel and have him lay me down on the bed. I want to hear all about his time in LA. I want to ask him about Chloe and why he didn’t call me back.
It’ll all have to wait. I smile and nod. “Let’s do it.”
Ed introduces me to his agent and his current editor. He introduces me to the vice president of one of the big five publishers, as well as a whole list of some of my literary heroes, all before we’ve even made it to the bar for a drink. There’s a long line, and Ed runs his hand along my back. “I’ll get us something while you mingle. Red wine?”
The museum is stuffy. “White please.”
“You got it.”
Wandering, I take in the art. There is a stunning Frida Kahlo exhibit. I stop to look at one of my favorite paintings of hers,What the Water Gave Me.It’s an intricate painting of her feet in the bathtub, the reflection of the water making two sets of toes on either side. The bath is filled with scenes—two women on a bed, two men in suits behind some ferns, a volcano with a skyscraper erupting from it. Her legs are just visible in the water underneath all of it. It’s so funny, because it’s so fantastical and mundane at the same time. What is it about staring at your feet in the tub that opens up a window to your soul?
A tap on my shoulder startles me, and I turn around, expecting to see Ed, but find a very tall, very blonde woman.“Have you seen Ed?”
“Uh, he went to the bar to get us some drinks.”
Her hot-pink lips turn up in a small smile. “Will you tell him to find Megan? I want to say goodbye before he moves.”
The blood rushes from my head to my toes in one fell swoop. He’s moving? Robin mentioned something about him moving to LA. I thought she was just throwing out wild possibilities, but what if she knew something? What if he told Nathan?
I’m nauseated and my cheeks are burning. I make my way through the sea of tuxedos and gowns, the smell of cologne and perfumesoverpowering in the warm room. When I get outside, I gulp in the fresh air like surfacing from underwater. I have a seat on an open bench, the metal cold through the thin layers of my dress. My heart rate starts to slow, my cheeks feel less flushed.
After a while, Ed comes out the front door with two drinks in his hands, looking back and forth, his eyes lingering by the horse where he found me before. Then he spots me, his face breaking into a smile.
He strides over. “There you are.”
“I needed some air.”
He hands me my drink. “Yeah, it’s really crowded this year.”
“I ran into Megan.”
His eyes widen for a fraction of a second. “Oh yeah? I didn’t see her in there.”
I take a sip of my wine. “She wants to talk to you.”
“Yeah, I’ll catch up with her later. I want to spend time with you.”
Here goes. I watch his face closely for any reaction as I say, “She mentioned you’re moving.”
He sighs, rubbing his hand on his head to the back of his neck. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“Where?”
“To LA. But it might not be a permanent thing.”
“Are you seeing Chloe Kramer?”
There is a minuscule flinch. “Chloe?”
“I saw the Instagram post.”
Ed blows out a long breath. Then takes an even longer sip of his beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. Each second that goes by is torture. When he brings his beer down to his leg, his green eyes look deep into mine. I want him to tell me I’m wrong.
