Page 86 of The Now in Forever
When he puts me down, I nod. “I came.”
I feel like I could throw up. What am I doing here? Ed hurt my feelings, so I run off to another man. Is this who I am? But Ed and I aren’t exclusive, obviously. And he’s probably going to break up with me once he finds out I’m not leaving Fortune Falls. Why shouldn’t I explore my options?
We walk along the beach looking at the elaborate sand sculptures, the moonlight shimmering on the black waves.
“This is incredible.”
Kyle nods. “It’s always been my favorite time of year since I was a kid. My mom used to compete.”
“Really?”
“Every summer. She won once when I was nine. She built a VW bug, and it took the prize. I was so proud. Wouldn’t shut up about it my entire fourth-grade year.”
“Does she still compete?”
“She died a couple years later, when I was thirteen.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“How would you know? It’s been over twenty years, so I’ve had time to get used to it. But some days…” He trails off, swallowing hard. “Anyway, I like to come here at night, when there’s no tourists. I feel close to her.”
We weave our way through the sculptures, surprisingly only acouple of actual castles at this sandcastle festival. There’s a giant two-foot-tall octopus with intricate suckers carved onto each tentacle, a massive crocodile with a clock between his teeth, and a giant book with its pages open. I get closer to look at the pages. In front of the book is a sculpture of a man on one knee, holding out a ring to a woman in a dress, all made out of sand. Carved into the pages of the book, it says, “Elizabeth, will you marry me?”
“Whoa, that’s a proposal.”
Kyle looks at me, his gaze intense. “Is that the kind of proposal you’re looking for?”
My heart stops. “No. I’m not sure I ever want to get married again.”
Even as I say it, I know it’s a lie. I do want to get married and have a family, and hopefully it’ll turn out better than it did for Chad and me and for my parents. “I don’t really know anymore, honestly. I was really against it for years, but now…I can see the appeal.”
Kyle steps closer to me, And I realize that he might’ve just taken what I said the wrong way. Like I could see the appeal because of him, which is not what I meant. I was just rambling. He brushes a lock of hair behind my ear, his hand lingers on my cheek. He leans down, and time slows. He brings his lips to mine. Is this happening? Should I let this happen?
My heart is about to beat out of my chest, but more from anxiety than excitement. Kyle’s lips are soft, not like the pillow soft of Ed’s kiss though. He takes his other hand on my lower back, pulling me closer. Mechanically, Kyle is doing everything right, and with the sand sculptures, the moonlight, and the sea, it should be a perfect moment. Except it feels all wrong. My phone is burning a hole in my pocket, and I want to check to see if Ed has called back, but of course he hasn't. It's the middle of the night.
I pull away, putting my hand to my lips.
Kyle seems stunned. “Was that too much? We can take it slow. I just got carried away.” He takes my hand. “I’ve wanted to do that since you walked into the bar that day at the beginning of summer.”
I smile. “Kyle, that’s so sweet. But…”
But what? But I’m with someone that I’m not speaking to. To be fair, that wholenot speakingthing was my idea. I’m dating someone who I met a decade ago, who stood me up, didn’t remember me three years ago, and who’s holding Hollywood “it girl” Chloe Kramer in his arms, probably even as we speak. I sigh, not knowing what to say. “It’s complicated.”
He lets my hand go. “Oh.”
“You remember that other guy? I’m sort of dating him.”
Kyle’s frown expands. “Oh.”
“I should’ve told you before. It’s just, I didn’t know what to say, because…” I take a deep breath. “I wasn’t sure you liked me in that way. And things with Ed are tricky at the moment.”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.” He looks at his watch. “It’s getting pretty late. I should walk you back.”
We stroll back silently. My mind spins, looking for something, anything, I could throw out as chit chat, but there’s nothing.
When we get to the house, Kyle takes my hand again. “Hattie, if you’re ever free, I’d love to make you dinner.”
I open my mouth, but he holds up a hand.
