Page 45 of The Now in Forever
“I wrote it.”
Anh laughs, a bubbling giggle that fills the car. “No. You didn’t.”
Ed chuckles. “I did.”
“I loved it,” Anh says, frowning slightly as if she’s still deciding.
“You don’t have to say that.”
“No, I did, but it wasn’tlightreading.”
“So I’ve been told.”
Anh turns in her seat; she points to me and back to him quickly. Either implying we should hook up or asking if we have, I’m not sure which. I shake my head because it’s not happening. He did just say our day together meant a lot to him, though. But those are just words. If it had meant that much, then it wouldn’t have ended the way it did.
RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME
TEN YEARS AGO
The water is dark in the approaching dawn. We ride for a while until the paved trail stops then trek a little farther, finding an opening in the trees off the path. Ed lays down the blanket, and we both sit facing the water as the sky turns dusky shades of pink and deep blues.
He holds my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. I shiver a bit, my skin cooling down fast after the ride and probably the long night. I always get cold when I’m tired. Ed notices and shrugs off his jacket, placing it on my shoulders. It smells like him, sweat and citrus and spice. I tear my eyes away from the light show to look over at Ed, who is staring at me. His eyes are warm, his lips slightly parted. He licks them, and I feel a pulse of want shoot through me so strong, I’m momentarily stunned by it.
I lean forward. Our lips meet soft and unhurried, like we have all the time in the world.But we don’t. I know we don’t.
He reaches up into my hair, and tingles shoot from my scalp all the way to my thighs. I lie back on the blanket, and he follows me, never taking his lips off of mine. The weight of him on top of me sends fresh electric pulses through me. He keeps a hand firmly on my waist and runs his other hand down from my neck to my collarbone, tracing it lightly, then continues his path, skimming my breast down to mystomach. He plays with the edge of my tank top as my breaths get heavier. I arch into him, and he moves his hand up through the fabric as goose bumps erupt on the sensitive skin of my stomach. He finds my breast and runs his thumb over my nipple through the silky bra. I let out a moan, and he squeezes tightly.
I roll so that I’m on top of him and sit up, shrugging off his coat, taking off my shirt, and then undoing my bra, the cool morning air making my nipples almost painfully hard. I don’t remember a time I’ve ever been naked outside like this. It’s not like me, too wild, but this morning, it feels right. I feel bold.
Ed is running his hands up my ribs. “You’re so beautiful.”
I tug at his shirt, helping him get it off. His abs flex with the motion of throwing it to the side. Ed is all wiry muscle and tattoos. I trace one on the side of his ribs, a small baby deer curled up in on itself.
He smiles and wiggles. “That tickles.”
I smirk. “Does it?” I run my fingertips up both sides of his waist lightly, and he squirms.
“Oh, I wouldn’t start that.”
He squeezes my hip bones, and I wriggle under his touch. Laughter bubbles through me.
I lean down and kiss him, feeling his soft skin and hard muscle on my breasts. I whisper in his ear. “Do you have a condom?”
He scooches, with me still on his lap, toward his backpack, reaching out his long arms and digging around in the front pocket. He sets the little foil package nearby.
We roll so we are side by side. He runs his hand from my shoulder to my waist and slips in through the gap in the waistband of my denim skirt. My heart catches in my throat as his fingers find the place I’ve been longing for him to touch since the tree house, since the movie. Honestly, I’ve imagined it since he read my palm in the bookstore.
The rest of the world falls away. I am all nerve endings and desire as we explore each other’s bodies, nipping and licking, finding out what each other likes. It turns out I like all of it. Ed’s hands are strong. I never want them to stop touching me, and he doesn’t, not until we’reboth a sweaty, tingling mess. Just a pile of skin and bones intertwined, our souls hovering somewhere above our bodies, looking down.
Ed is the big spoon to my little spoon as we watch the color of the sunrise fade into just another summer day with a bright-blue sky and fluffy white clouds. Ed pulls half of the blanket over us. A hazy worry about someone seeing us passes through my mind, but I can’t bring myself to care.
I’m a little shocked. This is all so unlike me. But something about this day, about Ed, it feels right. I can’t imagine it going any other way. Like it’s destiny.
Ed points to the clouds, and a dark bird swoops by. It soars in a large arc—its wings outstretched, its body perfectly still slicing through the blue sky. “Every time I see an eagle, I always feel like it’s the universe telling me I’m in the right place at the right time.”
I snuggle closer into him, my back against his chest, and let his words sink deep in my bones. We both silently watch the eagle fly until it disappears into the trees. My eyes are heavy, and with the blanket over us, it’s warm and cozy. I shut my eyes for a moment, but Ed pokes my side.
“Don’t fall asleep.”
