Page 2 of The Now in Forever
“Why is Chad handling all the house stuff?”
“He owned the house before we were married. Plus, he’s staying in Helena.”
Grandma’s eyes narrow. I put on a big smile, hoping to calm her. “It’s fine.”
“You can stay here, you know. Your room’s just how you left it.”
I nod. “Thank you, Grandma. But Robin, Anh, and I planned this before I lost my job, even. It’s going to be fun. You sure you don’t mind if I store some things in the barn?”
She waves a hand at me, the gold heart charm on her wineglass tinkling with the motion. “It should be fine. For a while.”
My heartbeat ticks up a notch. “For a while?”
She lifts and lowers one shoulder. “You can absolutely store your stuff. Just concentrate on what’s next for you.”
I’m still wondering what she meant, but if she had wanted to explain, she would’ve. There’s no prying anything out of Grandma. “Thanks. It won’t be hard to find a job.”
Honestly, it might not be that easy, with budget cuts in schools across the country, but I don’t want Grandma to worry.
“You know, I have a little nest egg?—”
“Grandma, I don’t need money.” Once the house sells, I won’t, anyway. God, I still can’t believe I’m divorced at twenty-nine. It’s definitely not how I pictured things working out. “It’s going to be fine.”
I hope.
The porch creaks as Grandma rocks her chair.
“Maybe you should think about a career change.”
“What? Why?” I had thought about it, but what would I do? I worked as the English teacher at that high school for seven years. Teaching is all I know how to do.
Grandma’s eyes light up. “This could be an amazing opportunity to change your life.”
“What makes you think I want to do that?” I try to sound casual asI ask, but my heart is hammering in my chest, because she’s not wrong. I need a change.
“The past few years, you’ve been so run down. When you visit, you’re so tired. If teaching is where your heart is, then by all means, find another job at another school.”
I take a sip of wine, half hiding behind my glass, her words striking a chord in my soul. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been more upset about losing the job. I’m burned out. It’s not the kids. I love the kids. It’s the paperwork. The meetings. The new curriculum every other year.
“But if it’s not, then maybe it’s time to reach for something else.”
“What?” I half laugh. “I’ve only ever taught.”
“That’s not true. You worked at that bookstore. You used to talk about opening up your own one day. And there’s your writing. You could finish your novel.”
All my dreams are staring me back in the face with each word out of Grandma’s mouth. My dream to open a bookstore. My novel. But I was so close to living out my other dreams, of settling down, raising a family, and look how that turned out. I’m tired. Too tired to reach for the stars. I need to get my life back on track. Make practical decisions.
I rise, setting my wine on the table and making a show of checking my watch. “I should unload that stuff from the car.”
Grandma nods, rocking her chair.
After moving what few boxes of stuff I kept into the corner of the red barn, I go inside, running cold water over the back of my neck. When I come out of the bathroom, Grandma’s in the kitchen filling the kettle.
“Have you heard from your father?”
With a soothing breath, my eyes drift shut for just a moment to steady myself. Grandma’s really covering all the hits today. My uncertain future, my unfinished novel, my unfulfilled dreams, and now my estranged relationships.
“Not since Christmas.”
