Page 59 of Magic & Secrets
His expression hardened before he scurried away from me as if spooked. I looked around, hoping to see what he did.
Whatever frightened him sent Roque into the forest. I rushed after him, trying to follow. He shifted into one form after another, moving around, over, and under the growth, slowing me down.
No matter how fast I ran to keep pace, I soon found myself alone and heartbroken. My mate had abandoned me to the evil spreading over my flesh.
The cold wrapped me tight, stealing my breath and separating me from my training. I couldn’t see past the chill tearing through my every nerve.
My mind tried to call out to my ancient one, yet I couldn’t recall her name. Was she ever real?
Switching gears as I dropped to the ground, I imagined Roque. If the darkness was bound to swallow me whole, I wanted my mate to be my last thought.
Roque
CALLA’S PRESENCE TRICKEDme into believing lies. I moved fast to put space between us. She was Armgard, and they were my enemy. I couldn’t trust anything she said, no matter how softly she spoke her words.
My heart raced, beating harder than I could remember. No, perhaps, I was this agitated when I found her lying on the ground after we were transported to Varema Territory. The idea of her death filled me with agonizing horror. Not even the sight of a ruined Haven Junction had felt so dire.
Most of my life had revolved around violence. I barely felt connected to my own kind. We were kept separated at Operation Overlord. On the mountain, we avoided behaving like a true pack.
The Bane Shifters had broken free of our masters, yet we refused to unshackle ourselves from the Murade’s programming.
I stopped running through Pandorium Forest. Leaving behind Calla felt like the right choice. I knew which direction I needed to go. I was in control. The forest couldn’t distract me. I refused to be fooled by a curse.
Except I looked around and found myself lost. I couldn’t sense Calla. I thought leaving her was what I wanted. With her gone, my chest hurt as if I’d been torn in half.
Falling to my knees, I howled for Calla. My head throbbed. Images flashed in my mind. The dead I left in my wake. My cold cell at Operation Overlord. The packmates I lost in battle.
The cursed forest tightened its grip. I couldn’t break free. It told me how Calla was lying. Bane Shifters hadn’t found mates for many centuries. Why would they have any now?
Stumbling upon a long-ago downed tree, I shoved my way inside to hide from the Armgard while I worked up the courage to kill her. The Calla I knew was a façade. She wasn’t mine. If I ended her life, I could break free of these feelings and return to my kind.
My eyes were closed. My snout rested against my paws. I felt the forest breathing under me. This place was alive like so many ancient, devious places.
My thoughts returned to Calla pleading for me to leave with her. I struggled to see past her beauty. She felt joyful and pure in my heart, yet I knew it was all a lie.
I considered how her teeth chattered before I left her. The tip of her nose was pink. Her breath came out like smoke.
I lifted my head and considered the temperature. Was it cold? Even when my body refused to submit to a chill, I remained aware of the actual temperature. The forest felt balmy to me, yet Calla had shivered.
Inhaling deeply, I felt the forest speaking to me. I heard the hushed voices of the dead, lost in here forever.
I had been trained to view the world in black and white terms. If one side was bad, the other side had to be good. I long ago accepted that this interpretation was wrong.
Von Ehlinger was indeed evil. They'd planned to dominate the Territories after soaking Lavinia in blood. Von Ehlinger created an army of dangerously powerful creatures to wield against their enemies. Despite knowing how destroying Von Ehlinger was the righteous choice, I never fooled myself into believing the Murade were benevolent.
In this forest, I’d allowed my mind to believe the choice stood between trusting Calla or viewing everything she said as a lie. The truth remained in the middle.
The Armgard couldn’t be trusted, ever, even if they were beautiful and exposed their secrets to protect me. However, what purpose was there in Calla lying to me about the cold? She understood magic in a way I never could. If Calla felt cold, either the forest was lying to her or it was lying to me.
I left the hollow tree husk and tried to sense Calla. The forest disoriented me. My mind was filled with my old teachings about the Armgard. Flashes of their faces and deaths filled my mind.
Shaking my head, I forced myself to evoke a memory from my past. Not one of violence and hate. I thought back to when Calla dropped into my arms. Her green eyes had glowed. Her lips had parted. I’d been startled by her freckled nose. Nothing about that moment felt devious. She had looked as surprised as I felt.
Bane Shifters were not an affectionate species. Unlike other Shifters who huddled together for warmth in the cold and soothed each other after battle, we were solitary beasts.
As I recalled how much I wanted to curl up with Calla the night before, I faced the fact that my kind weren’t meant to be alone. Our Murade training had twisted our thinking.
We were younglings once, taught to worry about only the Murade’s needs. Our own lives meant little. Devotion to our fellow Bane Shifters was frowned upon.
