Page 37 of Ember's Heart
Later that night, alone in my room, the soft glow of my bedside lamp giving me a little bit of light, I pulled my phone from my purse. Opening Colton’s text, I reread it:
Can we talk tonight? Around 10?
I hadn’t responded. I’d been with Avery, and I was feeling guilty for accepting the invitation from Jake. Now, as the clock on my nightstand crept closer to ten, a new wave of anxiety washed over me. Would he call? Or would he take my silence as me not wanting to talk?
Biting my thumb nail, I watched as the minutes ticked by, nine fifty-seven. Nine fifty-eight. Nine fifty-nine. Just as I was about to convincemyself he wouldn’t call, my phone vibrated, lighting up with his name. My heart leaped into my throat. I took a shaky breath and answered. “Hello?”
“Ember?” His voice was rough, hesitant, but filled with emotion.
“Colton,” I replied, my own voice a little shaky.
“I wasn’t sure if you got my text,” he began, a vulnerability in his tone that softened me. “You didn’t respond and I didn’t know if you’d talk to me.”
“I got it,” I confirmed, pulling the phone closer. “I was with Avery and couldn’t respond- no that’s a lie. I didn’t know what to say. But, yeah, I’d like to talk. How are you doing? Where are you?”
“I’ve been staying at Alejandro’s cabin, it’s… it’s helping, the quietness. It’s been good for me to just think about things. It hasn’t been easy. I talk to him once a day, either just a quick text, or if I’m having a bad day, or a night, I call him to talk. He’s really good, Ember. He’s helping me to heal and finally deal with everything that happened.” I continued to listen as Colton talked. He told me about the flashbacks, about the guilt, which I’d already known about, but just didn’t realize how deep it went. He told me about his nightmares and waking up in cold sweats. I hadn’t realized the tears rolling down my cheeks until his voice grew more resolute. “He says what I’ve been going through is normal. It’s been hard, but I’m not running anymore.”
A silence stretched between us. It was my turn. I needed to apologize too. The words about Bethany tumbled out, laced with the lingering sting of jealousy. “I… I know I didn’t handle it right that day. Seeing Bethany… seeing her kiss you… it just brought back so much. About how she was in high school. That girl was always a bitch. And seeing her, and you, after all these years…” I paused, then added, a small, self-deprecating laugh escaping me, “Honestly, I wish I’d marched up to her and punched her in her perfect little nose.”
A low chuckle rumbled through the phone. “I like your jealousy, Firefly,” he said, and despite myself, a blush crept up my neck. “But you have no reason to be jealous of her, or anyone.”
“I don’t like it, Colton,” I admitted, my voice serious again. “It makes me question everything. It makes me questionus. If we’re going to try this, Colton, I need to get to a point where I can fully trust you. Where I don’t have reasons for jealousy. I don’t want to feel like that.”
He was quiet for a moment, and I held my breath. “You’re right. And we will, Ember. We’ll get there,” he finally said, his voice solemn. “Anyone would be jealous and angry seeing the one they loved being kissed by someone else. But I want you to know, Ember, it was strictly one-way. I wasn’t reciprocating that kiss. Not for a second. There’s only you, Firefly.”
His words, spoken with such conviction, eased a knot in my chest. We talked more, about his recovery, about taking things slow, about rebuilding what we’d lost. We had a long way to go, but maybe, just maybe, we were taking the first step on a new path.
We talked for what felt like hours, the phone pressed to my ear, for a moment I felt like a giddy teenager talking to the boy she liked late into the night. He told me about Alejandro, about the cabin, it sounded nice and relaxing. He told me that Alejandro believes he’s struggling with PTSD and wants him to see a doctor to get professionally diagnosed. He didn’t make excuses for his actions, Colton was just being honest.
“I’m really trying, Ember,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “No more secrets. I want us to be completely open and honest. It’s important for us to really move forward.”
Damn. I guess it was my turn to tell him about my date Friday night.
“Colton,” I said, my voice giving away my nervousness. “I’m willing to try. And I want everything you want. But there’s something you need to know.” I took a deep breath, the words feeling heavy on my tongue. “I have a date on Friday.”
Chapter 28
Colton
“I have a date on Friday.” For a minute I thought I’d misheard her. There was no way Ember, my Ember was going on a date.
“I see.” I was at a loss for words. My mind raced, trying to process the bombshell she’d just dropped on me.
Ember rushed to fill the silence, her words tumbling over each other. “Wait, let me clarify. I didn’t mean a date, Colton. It’s with Jake. He just asked today at the diner. And it’s not adatedate. Just friends. Having dinner,” she rushed out, and I heard a nervous little laugh from her end of the line.
I still didn’t say anything, trying to gather my thoughts, and choose my words carefully. ‘Jake. Of course it was Jake,’I thought.
“Colton? Are you still there? Are you okay?” she asked, her voice laced with concern.
I forced myself to speak, my throat feeling tight. “Yep. Still here. Just processing… you having a date, or whatever it is. And with Jake.” The words felt flat, empty, devoid of the turmoil churning inside me.
“It’s nothing. It doesn’t mean anything, we’re just friends,” she repeated, her voice pleading for me to understand. “He knows about you and me, Colton. He knows there’s history. He was really nervous about asking, actually. Besides, I made it very clear it would just be as friends.”
“Nervous about askingmygirl out?” I muttered, my possessiveness flaring. I immediately regretted it, knowing I needed to keep my emotions in check, not wanting to take ten steps back from the progress we made tonight.
“Colton, don’t,” she said, her voice firmer. “I told you, it’s just dinner. I’m not trying to hurt you. Or make you jealous. He’s only a friend. You have nothing to worry about.”
She was right. I took a deep breath, remembering what Alejandro had taught me about how to navigate my emotions. I needed to stay calm.
