Page 37 of Bleed for You
“How weak am I?” He held his phone, his thumb sliding over the screen. He didn’t know if he should respond or not. “Fuck I’m messed up. Why do I have to love him so much?”
If he stayed silent, that would make him an accessory. It would allow Jinx to carry on. Allow him to take more hideous people off the streets. “Now I’m trying to convince myself that he’s not that bad for murdering child molesters.” But he knew if anyone tried to touch his niece or nephew, he wouldn’t hesitate to step in if the justice system failed. Did that make him the same as Jinx?
No, because even if he did do something like that, he wouldn’t take pleasure in it, and Jinx said he did like it. Jinx obviously hadsome mental issues, but not with Craig and not with Cat. Craig had seen him with others, knew he could be cold and distant, but never with him. He was the perfect partner to him and gave Craig what he needed. A Daddy who Craig adored. A partner who Craig loved.
His phone beeped again, and he saw it was another message from Jinx. Picking it up, he quickly read it.I’m sorry I’m not who you thought I was. I never cheated on you. I love you. I hope you live a long, happy life.
The sob he’d been holding back ripped free, and he bent over, tears streaming down his face, his body folding as pain lanced through it. The thought of not having this man in his life ripped him apart, but to keep Jinx meant accepting the obvious darkness he had inside. A darkness that Jinx let out on a regular basis.
“Why him?” Craig asked. “Why the man I love? What did I do to deserve this?”
And now he found himself in a difficult position and he knew what he should do, but to do it would cut a wound so deep he didn’t know if he would ever recover. Maybe in time, maybe when the dust had settled… maybe. Could he do what he should do and report Jinx to the police? He had the directions to the cabin so could tell them where it was or lead them there. Could he do it? Could he be the reason Jinx went to prison? Well, Jinx would be the reason, having done what he’d done. All Craig would be doing was letting the authorities know.
Shaking his head, Craig wiped his face. Sniffing, he licked his lips, then picked up his can of beer and drained it. He needed another because that can hadn’t been nearly enough, so he stood and went back into the kitchen. Hand on the handle of the fridge door, Craig paused and let his head fall. Leaning forward, he rested it on the door, feeling the cold on his skin.
Closing his eyes, he remained in place, letting the cold sink into his body, into his bones. He hurt, deep inside. Pain lanced through him at the thought of leaving Jinx, but he had no choice. Jinx was a murderer. Craig shouldn’t even be in his house debating what to do. He should be at the police station telling them everything he knew, but he found he couldn’t do it. Not right then. Maybe when he didn’t hurt so much, he’d be able to do it.
Pushing away from the fridge, he opened the door and grabbed another can of beer, then reached in and grabbed a second. He needed to drink the pain away, drink the day away, and in the morning, he could decide what he was going to do. His head was in too much of a mess and his heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest.
Sitting back in the chair, Craig slumped back, closing his eyes. “Why Jinx? Why?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Amonth had passed since that day at the cabin and Jinx was still a free man, so he had to assume Craig hadn’t reported him to the police. Why, he wasn’t sure, but he hoped it was because Craig still loved him like Jinx loved Craig. Jinx hadn’t contacted him since the two messages he’d sent the day Craig had found out what he did. There had been nothing from Craig, and Jinx had accepted that their relationship was over.
He’d known it would happen, but he didn’t regret doing what he did. Those men deserved every second of pain and terror they felt, and Jinx was more than happy to do it. He liked seeing the fear etched on their faces, liked hearing them beg and scream. He knew he wasn’t wired right, and he didn’t care. He was the way he was, and Jinx embraced all the parts that made him Jinx.
Shifting where he stood, he leaned on a spade, watching the casket being lowered into the ground. He felt nothing as he watched. Those gathered around, weeping softly, didn’t make him feel any empathy toward them. He had stood in that spotmany times before, so scenes like this didn’t move him at all. Not like they had before either. He knew what he was and accepted it.
When the group slowly left, Jinx and his team finished their job and moved the dirt to cover the casket where it lay in the ground. Once it was covered and the area made safe, Jinx left, stored his equipment away, and drove home. He knew he wasn’t going to stay there. He needed to go out, drink, fuck. He needed to release the tension that had been growing since Craig had ended their relationship. The one job he’d done hadn’t been enough to release the tension inside.
Showering quickly, Jinx stood naked in the bathroom, water running from his body, and stared into the mirror. His stubble had grown in, and he ran his fingers over it, liking how it looked. Deciding to keep it, Jinx walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. He’d already laid his clothes out on the bed, and once dressed, he splashed on some aftershave—ignoring who had bought it—then left his bedroom.
Downstairs, he put on his shoes, picked up his wallet and jacket, and left his house. Getting in the cab, Jinx ignored the ache in his chest as the driver headed toward the club Jinx knew he’d have no problem picking a man up in. He tapped his fingers on his thigh when the club came into sight and after paying the driver, he got out and headed inside. He knew the bouncer so was let straight in, and he headed to the bar to order a drink.
Beer in hand, Jinx scouted the area, looking at the men already there, and saw a couple who would do for a quick fuck. Mouth dry at the thought of touching a man who wasn’t Craig, Jinx took a mouthful of beer and pushed away from the bar and hit the dance floor. Not to dance, but to move closer to the blond who looked like a twink Jinx could fuck. When the twink saw him, Jinx smiled, and the blond returned it, his eyes roaming over Jinx’s body.
When Jinx reached him, the blond turned toward him and moved closer, his hand sliding up Jinx’s stomach. Leaning closer, he shouted, “Hi!”
Jinx heard him over the pounding music and let his lips touch his ear when he spoke. “Hi.” He slid his lips over the blond’s cheek and hover over his lips. The blond tilted his head up, their lips brushing, and Jinx pressed closer, applying more pressure to his lips until they parted. Tongues touching, Jinx kept his eyes open, watching the blond, feeling him move closer. “Want to take this somewhere else?” He wasn’t sure the other guy had heard him over the music until he took Jinx’s hand and pulled him from the dance floor.
Jinx quickly finished his beer and placed it on a table as he walked past. They entered the restroom and found an empty cubicle. Jinx shut and locked the door, then pushed the blond up against it before kissing him. Thrusting his tongue inside the twink’s mouth, Jinx ran his hands over the other man’s body, then broke the kiss to turn him around and rub his dick on his ass.
“Back pocket.”
Jinx eased back and shoved his hand into the other man’s pocket, pulling out a condom and lube. “I like a man who comes prepared.” Undoing his jeans, Jinx pushed them down and pulled his cock out, watching the other guy do the same to expose his ass. Jinx rolled the condom on his dick then lubed up his fingers and pushed two inside, hearing the twink gasp, then moan, as he pushed his ass out.
A few seconds later, he pulled them out, then lined his cock up with the guy’s asshole and slid inside. The other guy groaned, muttering, “Fuck me.”
Jinx grabbed his hips and pulled out, then thrust back in, setting up a hard and fast pace. He wanted to get off quickly, then leave. He had no plans to hang around once he’d come. Hewatched the other guy move his hand then groan as he pumped his dick, and Jinx gritted his teeth, his orgasm building, and as soon as he began to come, he thrust in deep, his hands clenching the other guy’s hips.
When he’d finished, he pulled out, removed the condom, and threw it in the toilet. Flushing it, he quickly dressed and waited for the blond guy to dress. Blond turned around, smiled, and opened the door. “Thanks for the fuck,” he said as he left.
Jinx grinned and followed him out of the restroom, and took the time to wash his hands, then went back to the dance floor before heading to the exit. As he was leaving, he looked back at the dance floor and stopped. There in the middle was Craig. As soon as their eyes met, Craig stopped dancing. Jinx watched him as Craig stared back, then Jinx turned and walked outside. “Fuck.” He ran a hand over his face, his heart hammering in his chest, pain slashing through him. The urge to turn around and go back in there was hard to ignore. He wanted to see Craig again, stand in front of him and tell Craig how much he still loved him. How much he missed him, but he knew there was no point.
Craig wouldn’t take him back, and maybe that was for the best. He’d kept quiet so far, and that gave Jinx hope that Craig would remain that way and allow him to continue doing what he did. Continue to punish those who hurt the most vulnerable and to feed the darkness inside him that liked causing terror and pain. There was no better sound than the screams his victims gave as he cut them into pieces.
If only Craig could only accept the darkness in Jinx, but he couldn’t and he never would. Jinx had been a fool to think he could keep a man like Craig, but they’d had two years, and their relationship had appeared strong. But then Craig found out Jinx liked to kill people. “And that was it,” he murmured to himself.
