Page 25 of Mane Full Of Stripes
“I wanted you in the shower with me. I wanted to see you naked. Touch you and kiss you.” He could hear Jost’s breathing pick up and wondered if he had said too much when Jost moaned softly.
“Yes, I want that too, but I’m scared.”
“I know, so we go slow.” At least he knew Jost felt the same urges he did, and he wasn’t alone in this.
“I think we shouldn’t go too slow.” Again, the words were so softly spoken Apollo struggled to hear them, but he did. “I want…”
“Tell me. We might want the same thing.” Apollo waited, his breathing speeding up and his dick hardening at the thought of what Jost wanted. God, he hoped it was what he wanted. Them, both naked, learning about each other’s bodies.
“You. I want to see you.” He heard Jost grumble something. “I’ve said too much. I shouldn’t when it’s hard for me.”
“I want to see you, too. I want to touch you as well, but I’m happy to wait.” Apollo held his dick and closed his eyes. God, it felt good, but he knew it would feel better if it was his mate’s hand and not his own. One day, he knew it would be. He had to be patient and give Jost the time he needed.
“You do? I want that so much. I wish I had met you first.”
“I’m just happy we’ve met now. We can take our time and not rush anything. I don’t want to do something that frightens you.” He remembered what Jost has said about his ex and sex. “Can I ask… did he force you?” He heard a soft whine and quickly added, “you don’t have to tell me.”
“He hurt me if I didn’t, and he hurt me when I did. I’m sorry. I have so much baggage…”
“No, you don’t, and none of this is your fault. Whatever lies ahead for us, we can face it together. “
“It’s easier to tell you this way, if you want to know.”
“Tell me when you’re ready. Don’t force this.” He wanted to know and at the same time he didn’t. To know his gorgeous, sweet mate had suffered made Apollo want to find this shifter and tear him a new asshole. To have had Jost and then treat him like a piece of shit. How could he have been so stupid?
“I thought he was wonderful,” Jost murmured. “He treated me so well. Said the right things. When he suggested we live together, we’d only known each other a couple of months, but I already wanted to spend my life with him. He changed after that.”
“He had you where he wanted you. Did he begin to isolate you from family and friends?”
“Yes. He said he missed me when I wasn’t there or he’d pretend he was ill and I wanted to please him, so I stayed. Later he’d hit me instead, or hurt me in other ways.”
“Sex,” Apollo muttered.
“Yes, but I stayed, so some of it is my responsibility, too. I could have called my parents and they would have come for me, but I thought I could change him if only I knew how to make him happy. If my dad hadn’t come that time, I would probably still be there now.”
“It wasn’t down to you to make him happy.” Apollo closed his eyes and sighed softly. He’d heard how people who’d been abused blamed themselves.
“I know that now, but at the time, I truly felt it had all gone wrong because I wasn’t good enough. Once I left and had therapy, I could see that it didn’t matter what I did. I would never make him happy. He wanted to have complete control of me and for a while I let him because it was easier that way, but now I know what I want.”
“What do you want, Jost?”
“I want someone to love me for me and not try to change me to be someone I’m not.”
Apollo closed his eyes. “That’s how it should be, Jost. No one should try to force you to be someone you’re not. I want to get to know you, and if we date for a while to do that, then I’m more than happy. You’re my mate and I want to make you happy and keep you safe. If I cross a line, you need to tell me, so I don’t do it again. Can you do that?”
“Yes, but you need to be honest with me, too. If it gets to be too much, please let me know.”
“We’ve only known each other a short amount of time, but I want to be in your life. I can feel our connection, can you?”
“Yes,” a soft whisper reached Apollo’s ear, and he smiled. “I want to kiss you again.”
“Me too. On Sunday we can have our adventure day, then a meal after. We can talk more then, and if it’s okay, maybe a kiss or two.”
“I’d like that.” Apollo heard Jost yawn and smiled. “Sorry.”
“Go to sleep. I’ll see you Sunday, and Jost? I’m so happy to have you as my mate.”
“Me too. Night.”
