Page 69 of Sweet Escape
With a tight-lipped smile, she says, “We’re doing ok. It’s nice to be home.”
Rosie pats her hand and turns to me. “Thanks for taking care of my girl, Wilder. Can I get y’all anything while you wait? If I know my granddaughter, she might be a while.”
“I’m good. Caro?”
“Can I get two of the grilled chicken specials to go?” Caroline says. “My husband is waiting for me in the car.”
“You got it. I’ll have that out for you in a jiffy.” Rosie places a coloring sheet and crayons across from Emmy before heading back to the kitchen.
“So… what are you two up to today?” Caroline asks, peeling open the small package of crayons.
“We just came by to bring my—Olivia to pick up some things. She’s moving out to the ranch until they can repair the damage to the apartment upstairs.”
“Olivia? Is she?—”
“Olivia is a friend.” The word feels woefully inadequate, but I don’t have a definition for what we are to each other. Most of the time, it’s like we’re just two people at opposite ends of a tether, locked in a game of tug-of-war with no end in sight. Sometimes that tether coils tightly around us, drawing us together before dragging us apart again. I want to tie her to me indefinitely, but we both have too many walls up for that to happen.
Caroline places her hand on my forearm. “You’re allowed to be happy, Wilder. Jess would want that, and Emmyneedsthat. She should see you thriving, not living in the past.”
Unable to come up with a response, I flip my hand over and give hers a comforting squeeze. Her chin quivers, and she closes her eyes. I can’t fathom what it must be like to lose a child. I loved Jess for ten years—she loved Jess for a lifetime.
“We’re having a baby… me and Olivia. Em’s going to be a big sister.”
Tears spring to her eyes, and she smiles sadly. “That’s wonderful news. I’m thrilled for you. I know you always wanted more kids.”
“I did—I do.”
“Let yourself be happy. For Olivia and the kids. You have to live your life for them now, not for the ghost of the girl you once loved.”
Loved.Something about that word doesn’t sit right, but she’s not wrong in assuming the feelings are different now. I love the memory of Jess, not the person. She only exists in the past now, in the memories that are slowly fading with the passage of time, and the guilt that still looms over me like an ever-present ghost.
Rosie returns with the takeout boxes.
Caroline pulls Emmy into her arms and kisses her head. “I’d better get going. Would it be okay if we come by sometime?”
“Anytime. I’m just a phone call away.”
We both slide out of the booth, and I pull her in for a one-armed hug, trapping Emmy between us before she hands her over.
“We’ll talk soon,” she says, before glancing over my shoulder. “Congratulations.” She disappears out the door.
When I look back, Olivia is standing there with a duffel bag in her hand and a solemn expression on her stunning face.
Olivia
I packed only the essentials for now. The rest can wait. I really could’ve used Wilder’s help, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him seeing my mess and recoiling at the sight of the dirty laundry overflowing from my laundry basket, or the clean clothes strewn over the armchair in my bedroom.
I still had my three emotional support beverages standing tepid on the nightstand, and the unfinished book club pick lying face down on my pillow. He’s seen enough of my messes to last a lifetime, and I plan to make every effort not to bring any of it into his home if I can help it.
As I descend the stairs with a duffle slung over one shoulder and my rolling suitcase in hand, Wilder’s voice stops me in my tracks.
“Olivia is a friend.”
There’s that word again—friend. We’ve both said it, but it still feels like a stab to the heart every time. I should be content with our relationship, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m clinging to the hope of more—a hope that’s fleeting at best.
Wilder is sitting with his back to me, across the booth from an older woman I don’t recognize. She’s holding Emmy in a way that tells me they must be family. Jess’s mom, maybe?
“You’re allowed to be happy, Wilder. Jess would want that. And Emmy needs that. She should get to see you thriving, not living in the past.”
