Page 61 of Sweet Escape
Olivia turns to face me, her knee bumping mine as she bends it between us.
I rest my elbows on my knees, keeping my gaze locked on the landscape. A tear escapes over my lashes, and I pinch my eyes shut, willing the rest of them away. “Jess died in a car accident in the middle of the night.”
She gasps, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth.
“Emmy was barely six months old, and we were having a really rough night. Jess had mastitis. She couldn’t stand to breastfeed anymore, but Emmy wouldn’t settle, and we needed more formula. I was supposed to pick some up earlier in the day, but I got sidetracked and forgot to stop on the way home. We thought we had enough to make it through the night. We were wrong.” I pause, letting the feel of her hand in mine ground me.
“We lived in a rural area near the mountains. The closest place to get formula in the middle of the night was the hospital. So… Jess offered to get some of the samples from the NICU where she worked.” I can feel her eyes on me as I relay every detail of the worst night of my life, but I can’t bring myself to look at her. It’s all I can do to keep talking. I haven’t said any of this aloud since I explained everything to the police officers at the scene.
“We argued back and forth, but she was stubborn and, eventually, I conceded. That’s pretty much how all of our arguments went. That night… well… I wish I had pushed harder. We were both exhausted, and I didn’t have any fight left in me. We’ll never really know what happened, but they think she must’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. When she didn't make it home, I went looking. And?—”
The memories are so vivid. I can still picture the can of formula on the passenger seat, still hear Emmy crying in my truck as the police lights flashed. I swallow thickly, my eyes burning as I try to hold back tears.
Olivia pulls me against her chest, my face buried between her neck and shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything else. God, Wilder. I’m so sorry.”
The dam breaks. My tears soak through her shirt as I cling to her, grasping onto whatever parts of her I can reach.
She strokes a hand through my hair, her cheek resting against my forehead. “It’s okay to feel all of it. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”
“Emmy needs me.”
“Emmy’s not here right now. Only me. Give me your pain. Let me hold it for a little while.”
I inhale against the bare expanse of her neck, breathing in her vanilla perfume, memorizing the feel of being held like I’m worth a damn. I pull back, swiping a hand down my face as I stare into her brilliant eyes, beautiful even in the darkness. “Notonlyyou. You’re so much more to me than you realize. You make me feel?—”
She tilts her head to the side, assessing me. “Feel what?”
“Just… feel. Fuck, Liv. You make it so I can breathe again, and you don’t even know you’re doing it. You have no idea what that means to me—whatyoumean to me. I think… you might be my best friend.”
She giggles. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. The last time I had a best friend, she fucked my boyfriend.”
“I promise I won’t fuck your boyfriend.” I hold up my pinky finger, and she winds her much smaller one around it. I bring it to my lips and seal it with a kiss. “Better?”
She nods and her lips tip into a wistful smile. “You can talk about her, you know? Since we’re best friends, and all.”
“She would’ve liked you.”
“Yeah?”
I don’t know what it is about Olivia that has me wanting to open up, but once I start, I can’t seem to stop. “She probably would’ve usurped my position as your best friend if only for the cupcakes. She was a force, fiercely loyal. She had a big heart—like you.”
“I wish I could’ve met her.”
It’s in that moment, sitting on my truck bed listening to the rushing water of the Willow Creek waterfall, that I wonder for the first time if Jess had a hand in bringing us together. It’s a fleeting thought, there one moment and gone the next. I don’t know if I believe in a higher power anymore, but I always believed in Jess, and that belief has never led me astray.
Olivia
“Stay the night,” he says.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.”
“I can’t stand the thought of you being alone. Not after what happened.”
After what Wilder confided in me, I can’t bring myself to say no. He’s playing it off like it’s for my good, but I know it’s more than that. I know he’s putting on a brave face. The incident shook him to his core. He thinks I can’t see it, but I can. I’ve always seen through to the very heart of him.
“Okay,” I say. “Just for tonight.”
If he asks me to stay longer, I don’t think I have it in me to turn him down. That’s a problem for the Olivia of tomorrow. I can give him this one concession if it helps him cope. Wilder is a broken man, but no less beautiful for the wreckage.
