Page 119 of Sweet Escape
“Sissy, wake up,” Emmy whispers. When Gracie doesn’t stir, Emmy slumps back against the couch. “When is she gonna play?”
I chuckle, trying not to jostle the sleeping infant on my chest. “It’ll be a little while, Angel. Gracie has to learn a lot of big things first. But I could read you both a story.”
Her face lights up, and she darts down the hallway. When she returns, she’s holding her Goodnight, Big Sister book. She settles against my side with a contented sigh and holds the book for me as I read. By the time we get to the end, her eyelids are starting to droop, and it’s not long before she’s fast asleep with her head on my chest and one hand wrapped around her sister’s foot.
Liv steps into the room, sleep-mussed and as beautiful as ever. “Why did you let me sleep for so long?”
“You needed the rest. Come here.” I pat the cushion next to me, and she joins us on the sofa, smoothing back some of Emmy’s hair. I soak in the quiet moment with all of my girls in the same room, marveling at how perfect it feels to be here with them.
“Are you happy?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I don’t have to lie.
“Yes. More than I could've ever imagined.”
Olivia
“I’ll be right back, Grammy.” The door closes on the boisterous Hayes-Sullivan family dinner happening inside, the dull hum of Christmas music drifting on the breeze as I step out of the diner to the cool bite of winter air nipping at my cheeks.
Without conscious thought, I let my feet carry me to my destination, arriving at the small cemetery beside Willow Creek Park. I’m not sure how I know where to go, but something pulls me toward the big oak tree at the back. I stroll down to the last headstone on the right.
Jessica Louise Hayes. Beloved mother, daughter, and wife.
I don’t know how to do this. I’ve been fortunate in my life to suffer little loss, and I’ve never felt compelled to speak to the dead until now. I bow my head and close my eyes, taking a deep breath before glancing back at the artificial poinsettias in the stone vase.
“Hi, Jess. I… um… I don’t really have any experience with this kind of thing, so you’ll have to bear with me. You don’t know me, but I feel like I know you. In some strange way, I feel like I was robbed of knowing you. I’d like to think we would’ve been friends if we ever crossed paths.”
The cold wind rustles my hair, and a few of the remaining leaves on the ground skitter across the frozen path. It’s strangely peaceful here. “I saw you, you know? At least I think it was you; maybe it was all in my head. I thought I’d never see them again. Then there you were, this beautiful, blinding light urging me to come back.”
I twist the ring on my finger, my teeth digging into my bottom lip. “I don’t know what’s out there beyond this life, but I hope you can see how loved Emmy Lou is, and what a wonderful father she has.”
A truck door closes in the distance, but I don’t look back.
“I’ve got them—I just wanted you to know that. I know they weren’t meant for me, but I cherish them all the same, and I’ll love them fiercely for us both.”
Wilder and Emmy might very well be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. A life without them seems unbearable now, but this life wasn’t meant for me. It was hers until it was stolen from her.
It’s an odd feeling to know someone had to lose their life for you to have everything you ever wanted. What do you call that? Certainly not survivor's guilt because she was never mine to lose, but something akin to what that must feel like on a much smaller scale. Breathing deeply, I whisper, “Thank you for loving them first.”
I feel him—like I always do.
“Liv? What are you doing here? It’s freezing.” Wilder places his jacket over my shoulders and wraps his arms around me from behind.
“I just… needed to tell her something.” I close my eyes, a single tear escaping down my cheek. My breath is visible in the frigid air; I hadn’t noticed how cold it was until I had his warmth surrounding me.
“Hey Jess,” he says. “I see you’ve met my girl. Just so we’re clear—she’s mine. You can’t have her.” A watery giggle escapes, and I sniffle, my nose nearly frozen solid. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you warmed up.”
I nod and let him guide me back down the icy path to his truck idling on the curb.
He opens my door and ushers me inside, lingering long enough to place a soft kiss on my temple. “I’ll be right back.”
Wilder
I glance over my shoulder once, taking in the silhouette of the woman I’m going to call my wife someday, then turn back to the first woman who ever held that title. I stand before her headstone like I did all those months ago, with my hands in my pockets, only this time is different.I’mdifferent. I’m no longer held together by tape and glue, but by the love of a good woman and two little girls who fill my heart with immeasurable joy.
I left Colorado a broken man. A man so afraid of living he couldn’t open his heart. Beyond all reason and against all odds, Olivia fixed what I thought had been permanently damaged. She brought me back to life and damn near lost hers in the process. I’ll always fear losing them, but I will never again take for granted the time I have and the memories we’ll share. Loving them is worth the risk.
Bringing my fingertips to my lips, I place a chaste kiss there, then press them to her headstone. “Thank you for making sure they came back to me.”
