Page 29 of Sweet Escape
I motion for her to take a seat at the island. “Can I get you something to drink? A cookie, maybe?”
“I’ve never said no to a cookie before; I’m not about to start now. And water would be great.”
I slide a plate across the countertop along with a bottle of water, then lean my elbows on the surface across from her as she takes a bite of Mama’s famous chocolate chip cookies.
Her eyes widen. “These are amazing! I need to know her secret.”
“Good luck with that. She’s tight-lipped about her recipe.”
“Then I’m going to make it my mission to replicate it.” She savors the next bite with a contented hum as she closes her eyes. The sight is damn near erotic, and I find myself having to discreetly adjust myself in my jeans.
“Ok. I have some ideas for a theme, but you can totally tell me if you hate it. I won’t be offended.” She opens up the photo app on her phone, tapping into an album with a mood board before holding it out for me.
Across the top of the moodboard it says: ‘This ain’t my first rodeo. It’s my third.’ The screen is full of pink cowboy hats, disco balls, cow print, and western decor. It’s Emmy in a nutshell.
“This is incredible. You did all of this yourself?”
She nods, and a slight blush creeps across her cheeks. It didn’t take long to figure out that Olivia likes praise. It’s a visible reminder of the other times I’ve seen that same color, and I wonder how far down it goes. If she notices where my thoughts have strayed, she doesn’t call me on it.
“If the weather’s nice, you could have pony rides for the kids. And I was thinking something like this for the cupcakes.” She swipes over to a photo of roughly two dozen cupcakesintricately frosted in shades of pink with tiny cowboy boot toppers, interspersed with others done in cow print.
An hour passes, then another, and by the time we’re done, we have an entire party planned down to the last disco ball. Given months to plan, I couldn’t have accomplished even a fraction of what Livie came up with in the span of twenty-four hours. I’m endlessly impressed by this woman.
The sun is just starting to dip below the horizon as I step out onto the porch with the intention of walking Olivia to her car. I’m stopped dead in my tracks when she pauses on the gravel drive, her delicate profile highlighted by the warm glow of the setting sun.
Knowing what I know now—knowing we are inextricably linked—it feels like fate, or something bigger than that. It feels like a gift.
Hope and longing are buried beneath a level of guilt that’s hard to overcome. The loss still lingers, waxing and waning with each day that passes. The only thing keeping me from falling apart is Emmy Lou—the need to keep her safe and fill her life with the love she would’ve had if her mother hadn’t been so tragically stolen from her. Fromus.
Now she’s going to be a big sister, and I find myself wanting that more than anything. I want her to know what it’s like to have a big, messy family. My brothers and sister are such a fundamental part of my life, but when I lost Jess, I lost the hope of ever having more kids. I convinced myself it would just be me and Emmy from here on out, and I was okay with that.
So, how do I reconcile the past with the future that’s staring me in the face? Olivia is in my life now; she’s giving me a second chance. I won’t take it for granted, but deep down, I know I won’t be enough for her. I can’t give her what she needs—what she deserves. I can’t love her. But can I let her go?
When she makes a move to leave, I snag her by the wrist,whirling her around to face me. Her hands rest on my chest, and she tilts her head so we’re eye-to-eye. “We didn’t really talk about the baby, but I want to be very clear about something.”
Her rose-petal lips part, but I hold up a finger to silence her.
“I want this, Liv. I want our baby.”
There’s a slight hitch in her breath before she says, “But?”
“No buts. I’m all in. Never doubt that for a second, alright?”
Her hands drop, and I instantly miss the contact. She takes a short step back, fidgeting with her ring. “I’d like us to get to know each other better. As friends, I mean.” Her lips tip into a smirk, and she lets out a soft laugh, her shoulders shaking slightly. “It sounds so silly out loud. I guess we skipped a few steps, huh?”
I shrug, sliding my hands into my pockets. “So, we’re doing things a little out of order. There’s no rule saying we can’t backtrack. We have nine months to catch up. As soon as Mama finds out, you’re going to be required to attend weekly family dinners, and you’ll be an honorary member of the Hayes family in no time.”
Her smile falters. It’s the first time I’ve ever witnessed any kind of indecision coming from her. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to keep it between us. Just until the second trimester, which is only four weeks away since I found out a bit late.”
“Whatever you need. I’ll follow your lead.”
She glances at the gravel driveway, kicking up dirt with her shoes. “I’m not sure how much you know about my family, but my dad has some history with Russell. He’s a good man, and I don’t know what exactly happened between them, but this might not go over well whenever we come clean.”
Unable to resist, I take a tentative step in her direction and lift her chin. “Whatever happens, we’re in this together.”
Her posture relaxes as my words settle between us. “I should get going.”
“Text me when you’ve made it home safely.”
