Page 116 of Sweet Escape
Wilder
I rake my hands through my hair, tugging at the roots as I pace back and forth at the foot of the bed. There are several nurses preparing to take Olivia down to surgery, and she’s barely coherent, drifting in and out of consciousness.
The sound of a man’s voice breaks me out of my swirling thoughts. He introduces himself as Doctor Shaw, the surgeon on call to help deliver my baby. “Son, I need you to listen to me. We’re going to do everything we can to deliver your daughter safely. She needs you. Theybothneed you.”
I tug on the hospital-provided scrubs, complete with a mask and shoe covers, and I return to Olivia’s side when one of the nurses gives me the go-ahead.
“Take a moment,” Doctor Shaw says. “Once we head down to the O.R., we’re going to need to move fast, and there won’t be time for words.”
The implication is jarring, but I nod in acknowledgement, blinking back tears. I can’t fucking lose them. Olivia’s eyes meet mine, and the fear and resignation I see in them nearly brings me to my knees.
“Save her,” Olivia croaks. “If you have to make a choice, save our baby.”
“If there’s a choice, I’ll make it, but I would save you every time. We can make another baby; I’ll never have another you.”
“I’m just some woman you knocked up. You have to save Gracie.”
Anger mixes with anguish as her words pierce through my heart, down to the marrow of my bones. After all this time, how does she not know what she means to me? “You’re not just some woman I knocked up, Olivia! You’re…”
“What? What am I, Wilder?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, and I know it’s taking every ounce of strength she has left to fight for our daughter.
I close my eyes against the onslaught of terrifying emotions. “Everything. You’re everything to me, Livie. You, Emmy, and Gracie. Nothing else matters. I could lose everything else tomorrow and survive. But you, our family, and the life we’re creating together—that loss would break me in a way I won’t ever come back from.”
“You have to—Emmy needs you. Our girls will need you. You have to carry on if I can't. Promise me.”
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “I can’t.”
“Promise me, Wilder.” She slides her hand out from beneath mine, cupping my cheek.
The tears that have been threatening to spill since the moment I saw that panicked look in her eyes finally fall.“I need you, Liv. I was barely existing until you breathed life back into me. A part of me died with her that day, don’t you see? But if I loseyou, there’s nobody left to bring me back to life again. Falling in love once is a blessing. Twice is a goddamn miracle.”
A tear falls down her cheek, but she doesn’t speak, both of us locked in a silent war of wills.
I open my mouth to tell her I love her, but I don’t get the chance. Her hand drops away from my cheek, and everything else happens in a blur of movement.
“We have to go.”
Nurses are on either side of her bed, rushing down the hallway to the massive elevator. It’s all I can do to keep moving forward and keep my mind from going back to the day we said goodbye to Jess. I have to remind myself this isn't going to end the same way—it can’t.
When we get to the O.R., I’m guided to a spot near her head as they change out her IV bag and put up a curtain so we can’t see what’s happening. I’m grateful. I would love nothing more than to witness my daughter’s birth, but not like this. Not when I’m terrified I’ll lose them both.
Olivia’s eyelids flutter open, but her face is still pale, and there’s a thin sheen of sweat dotting her hairline.
I press my lips to her forehead and whisper soothing words, trying to keep her with me as long as possible. “Stay with me, Liv. She’s almost here.”
I rest my head against her chest, willing her heartbeat to drown out the sounds of medical instruments and machines whirring. I’m not even listening to the doctors as they work tirelessly to deliver my daughter safely.
The entire room stills the moment Gracie’s piercing cry reaches my ears. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. Olivia’s mouth drops open in a gasp, and tears stream down the side of her cheeks.
I glance over the curtain and make eye contact with the doctor who is holding my tiny baby girl in his palms. She has a head full of dark hair visible beneath the blood and fluid covering her body. She’s quickly wiped down and placed on Olivia’s chest. We both dissolve into uncontrollable sobs as Gracie wriggles in her arms. My palm engulfs her entire back, and Olivia’s eyes meet mine.
“She looks like you,” she murmurs.
“She has your eyes, Liv.”
Olivia gives me a watery smile, then blinks slowly, her hand falling away from Gracie’s head. Panic claws at my chest as a loud, persistent beeping fills the room.
Gracie is removed from her chest, and the last thing I hear is, “We’re losing her.”
